(Book One) Do you ever feel as if your life has yet to begin? I've been alive for almost seventeen years now and absolutely nothing has ever happened to me. Not until I met a girl who kick-started my life. She introduced me to love, sex, scandal, ex...
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Chapter Five Continued...
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The following day, my friends treated me differently. They'd ask me questions about Ari, hint and suggest at rumors, then watch my reactions. Or if I walked up to join the group, they'd acknowledge me. Like every single person in the group...one after the other. If they were in the middle of laughing, they'd each turn to me and say "Hey" or "How are you?". I was in a strange episode of Twilight Zone in an alternative universe.
Kris and Kate treated me the same, for the most part. They didn't gossip about Ari in front of me. Which should've been a good thing. I'd no longer have to feel guilty for listening to their rants, but at the same time, it was weird. I felt left out. FOMO? It was as if I wasn't a part of their secret anymore.
By lunch, I'm frustrated and feel alienated. The silence at the table speaks volumes. Gossip hadn't been the only thing we discussed, but now that I'm a turncoat they clearly didn't feel comfortable spilling in front of me. And since it's now a restricted topic, it's the only thing they wanted to talk about. Instead, they choose to say nothing at all. I'm the giant elephant in the room, keeping them from discussing what they really wanted to. I'm being boxed out and I've just about had it.
I blurt the words before I think it through. "I'm going to sit with Ari today."
I'm met with silent stares.
"Wh..." Kris starts but Katie interrupts him.
"It's fine. She should go." She says it without looking at me. Kris looks over at her, his eyes filled with questions. Then he gives me a small shrug before returning his attention to his food.
I get up from my chair. I grab my backpack and lunch tray. Then I face the direction of Ari's table and began my long trek across the cafeteria. Long is too basic of a word to describe my journey to the other side of the high school social ladder. It's lengthy, drawn-out, prolonged, seemingly endless. My heart pounds faster and faster with each step.
Have I made a mistake? Thump, thump. What if she doesn't want me to sit with her? Thump, thump, thump. What if her friends don't want me to sit with them? Why didn't I text her first? Thump, thump, thump, thump. By the time I reach the vicinity of Ari's table, all I can hear is the rapid thrumming of my heart in my ears.
