twenty five

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If somebody told me that my Wednesday afternoon would have been spent curled up in a corner crying after I got the news that Harry was suffering from the most common form of lung cancer, I would have probably not believed them

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If somebody told me that my Wednesday afternoon would have been spent curled up in a corner crying after I got the news that Harry was suffering from the most common form of lung cancer, I would have probably not believed them.

Lung cancer.

Harry has Lung Cancer.

My brain had not stopped reminding me since the news came out, the horrendous words repeating themselves ever so often, it almost seemed like they didn't exist.

I wished they didn't.

Lung cancer. Of all the news that I could have heard. Lung cancer was not relatively close to what I was expecting.

As I sat there, crying my eyes out, pouring my heart out through my tears, it dawned on me that I should have seen a circumstance like this coming.

I thought of all the instances where Harry's breathing was constantly faltered, how he was always coughing.
The first damn time I saw Harry, he coughed on his way out of the classroom, and it took an accidental trip to the hospital because of some stupid jocks for me to find out that Harry was suffering from this disease alone.

I wondered how long Harry knew. I wondered if he had ever tried to tell me. All my brain could do was come up with situations that could no longer even be relevant. I wanted to curse myself, even though his sickness wasn't my fault.

I just felt really woeful.

"Violet," I heard my name being called and I looked up to see a nurse with a pained smile. He held a similar sympathetic look. "You're free to go inside now."

"Inside?" I repeated stupidly, marveling at the fact that I would finally see him.

He nodded and I wiped at my eyes, standing up and pulling my sweater down in an attempt to look less disgruntled. "Thank you," I told him, unsure of what else to say.

The minute I was finally able to walk, my steps felt impossible to take. I had anticipated seeing him for so long since we got to the hospital, I guess I never got around to what I would say when I did.

As I was guided to his room, I stepped inside and pushed at the door, my steps slow but steady. I didn't know how to face him.

His eyes remained closed as I walked up, and I briefly stopped before him, taking in the sight of of his curled up body wrapped up in white sheets.

"Harry?" I whispered, praying my voice would not crack.

There was no reply immediately, but after a while, jade eyes opened up to greet me, a lazy crooked smile taking over his features as he lowly said, "You know, for the record, I still won that fight."

I felt myself laugh even though my eyes couldn't help but water at the sight of him. He was such an idiot.

Harry was quick to notice my expression, and he sat up, his crooked smile now replaced with a straight line and knit eyebrows as he said "What's wrong?"

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