A Sky Full of Blue

Chapter 40: Indigo is the Color of Goodbye

"Goodbyes are not forever, are not the end; it simply means I'll miss you until we meet again." ~Unknown

*Cries.* It's the final chapter. Or is it?

Listen to "Oooh Baby I Love Your Way" by Big Mountain and "3:15" by Bazzi.

The music blares from his speakers as he packs boxes into his sister's car. The tight curls on top of his head bounce as he dances along. I sit at the side of the car, watching him.

I don't think that he knows that I'm here, and that's okay. I came early to surprise him.

After all, he is going to college.

I don't want to hold him back, but at the same time, I want to keep him all to myself. There are going to be so many girls there, and I know that they'll think he's attractive. I know he is. As he blasts a Rolling Stones song out of that beat up speaker, I walk over to him.

Sweat gleams on his forehead, and the muscle in his arms strain as he carries one of the heavier boxes to the trunk. I take a deep breath. If I can get through Alyssa trying to send me away to a mental hospital, I can get through saying goodbye.

Theo startles when he sees me standing there. I know that he didn't see me there; he was too absorbed in the music. A smile lights up his face.

"Hey, darlin'. I didn't know you were there." He wipes some of the sweat away from his forehead. Those Carolina eyes keep with mine, but I don't look down. I've got to take in as much as I can.

I keep my distance so that he can't see the tears in my eyes.

Although I think I'm doing a pretty good job at hiding it, he notices. He always does.

I can feel his arms wrapping themselves around me, closing me in his embrace. I keep close to that warmth, even though it's early August and the heat is coming in thick waves.

I can smell the aftershave on his face and the deodorant on his shirt.

His long, thin fingers grab my chin. He makes me look up at him through a veil of tears.

"I'm not going to be as far as you think. I'm only one call away, and you know, without a doubt, that I would drop everything to come see you." I try to drop my gaze-although I don't want to-but he keeps the hold on me steady.

A new Rolling Stones song comes on. I listen to Mick Jagger's voice as Theo stares down at me.

I can see the little bit of stubble on his face in the sunlight. I can see a smudge of dirt on his face from lifting those boxes.

I sway with him in time to the song, and let the tears fall. He brushes them away with his thumb.

"You know the best thing about you, Hazel Hudson?" I shake my head. I stay silent, and he does too for a moment. I think that he has nothing to say until I hear the words vibrate deep in his chest.

"That when you love, you love hard. You love me even though I am such a bad person." He inhales and exhales hard, then runs a hand down his face.

"I'm worried that while I'm gone you're going to find someone so much better for you. That you're going to dump me and leave me for being the trash that I am." His lashes are wet, and tears fall down his face. He kisses the top of my head.