The Serving Girl // Book 2 in the Rosie Grey series

Chapter Fifteen

Despite Robert's attempt at optimism, it failed to have the desired effect and I returned to the house feeling as though I had once again managed to mess everything up. I know I hadn't intended to hurt Matthew, I would never do such a thing, but I had hurt him, and I didn't know how to fix it; if it could be fixed. James would try and help, but there was only so much he could do. I had been the one to mess up and I had to be the one to repair the damage. Yet, part of me wondered if repairing it would be worth it. I had known Matthew for all, but a few days and he had been so quick to assume the meaning of the letter that I wondered how he would feel if he knew the real me. He didn't know everything about the factory, about what I had done, no one did.

Returning to the kitchen that night certainly didn't seem to help matters. Miss Jenkins spent most of the evening rushing around the kitchen completing last-minute chores whilst Esther didn't appear until almost midnight. Both were exhausted and Esther looked as though she would fall asleep at any moment. I sat at the table watching them, feeling bad for creating more work for them rather than taking from the load. The injury to my shoulder meant more chores for Esther and Miss Jenkins whilst I sat around and did nothing.

I felt so bad I couldn't even bring myself to eat.

I poked at the food on the plate in front of me whilst they continued to work but I didn't eat any of it. After a little while, I pushed the plate back across the table and muttered something about the cream cakes I had eaten before slipping from the room and climbing the stairs. My stomach growled as I took a seat on the bed and peered into the sling on my arm, wiggling my fingers inside of it. The cream cakes had done nothing to defeat the hunger, but I couldn't stand to be sitting there when they were working, it didn't feel right. I had been brought in to help, but I had become more of a hindrance.

As I sat on the bed, I could hear Miss Jenkins and Esther below as they finished up their chores and started locking the doors and preparing the house for the night. Sighing to myself, I pushed myself off the bed and crossed the room to the chest of drawers, pulling the top one open and peering inside. Tucked inside were the few things I possessed, my spare work uniform, my Sunday dress, my nightgown, and the small toy Robert had given me not long after I started working at the house. I ran my fingers across the toy, placing it in the folded-up crevice of my spare work dress. Not even Esther knew I had the toy.

Esther entered the room almost half an hour later looking exhausted. She dragged her feet across the floorboards, struggling to keep her eyes open as she fumbled around for her nightdress. When she found it, she hastily pulled it on and climbed into bed. She fell asleep almost immediately. Her breathing filled the silence in the room as I listened to Miss Jenkins footsteps as they retreated out of the kitchen and towards her own room. I wasn't entirely sure where her room was, I hadn't asked. With the kitchen empty and the house seemingly asleep, I crept out of the room and back down the stairs.

The kitchen was basked in darkness when I entered, all except the brazier which flicked in the corner of the room. I grabbed a small lantern and lit the candle on the side with a match, placing it on the table and taking a seat. Listening to the sounds of the night, I drummed my fingernails on the table in front of me. Owls hooted beyond the walls and the harsh wind rattled the windows and knocked buckets together. I had never been afraid of the dark or of the night, I could think better when there was no one around.

Even though it was late, I didn't' feel tired. I had too many thoughts zipping through my brain at a fast pace to even think about sleeping. Instead, I listened to the house creak and groan in the silence and the noises coming from just outside the window. Back at the factory, we could hear horses or men leaving the public houses in the dead of night we never heard nature. Sitting at the kitchen table, I heard the creak of a floorboard just up the stairs, it was louder than the other creaks and caught my attention.