In Your Eyes: 1989

11: This Love

Message: Timing is a funny thing.

Rising from an sleepless night, I look to see it's barley 5 a.m.

Deciding it's useless, I rise from bed and go to the window. A light breeze flutters through and I shut my eyes, enjoying the relaxation.

The sound of paper fluttering makes me scurry across the room and pick up a few scattered photos from the wind.

I smile as I look at one of the first pictures Harry and I took together.

I flip it over.

We begin our story in New York, I wrote on the back along with the date.

Back then things were simple. There was no tension at times. High tides from the ocean brought him to me. No one told me that that was a warning for the storm ahead.

I could go on and on about the things I wished I knew when I first met him. How things would be so complicated. How things were fine until the skies grew darker and he was swept from under me along with the current. I had him so quickly, but just as quickly he left me.

He was gone.

I close my eyes, remembering the torture I went through when he wasn't here.

Other guys didn't help or distract me.

I struggled to replace him with someone new. Yet no one was up-to-par when it came to Harry. 

So many things were different.

All I wanted to do was let my internal screams emerge from my body and be heard.

All I thought about was him.

All I wanted was him.

It seemed like just when I had given up, he came back. He wanted it again.

I guess if you really love something, you set it free.

"Goodbye." he kissed my cheek, and I watched him let himself out.

Once I heard the confirmation of the closed door, I sunk out of my chair and to my knees. Burring my head in my hands, I cried.

And if it really loves you, it'll come back. He did; he came back.

His smile was nothing but a ghost haunting me while we were broken up.

Maybe he was scared. I was scared. I had never felt like this before. Yet I never ran.

Somehow, he came back. And I let him come back.

This love is a crazy thing, but I wouldn't change it. I have to believe timing is for a reason.

Crazy how things change from hell, my collapsing on the floor, to thinking the wildest of dreams has come true, our first night together.

I pick up the last Polaroid we've taken so far.

Harry's hand holding mine, legs tangled in the sheets.

I flip it over, Our lantern never burned out.

And that was the truth, because this love never died.