People Talk

2. axel brown hates straight men

^^ in case you needed a reminder of what Axel looked like

TWO
axel brown hates straight men

Axel woke up with one of the worst headaches he'd ever had.

It started at his shoulders, worked its way up to his neck, and then completely fucked his brain without any preparation. It was everywhere, and Axel was lucky enough to have three painkillers and a bottle of water on his beside table.

       He grunted as he turned over, lazily grabbing at them. He popped all three into his mouth, then chased it with a big gulp of water. It was still pretty cold, so it hadn't been there for long.

         Axel laid there for a moment, arms spread out, sprawled out on his back. He didn't remember shit from last night, save for the concert and everything before it. And considering how much his head hurt, he knew he did something extra stupid. He had three levels of drunk:

Level 1 — One beer, maybe a few glasses of wine. That or just weed. He was sober enough to keep himself from making idiotic decisions, like telling some girl she had a nice ass, or telling a random guy he looked like someone he fucked in his dream last night. Both of them would've ended in a black eye and a few broken ribs.

Level 2 — Three beers, quite a few glasses of wine. Add weed into the mix, why not? He was sober enough to not do stupid shit, like fuck someone, or maybe just make out. But he wasn't clear-headed enough to stop himself from saying shit that would get his ass kicked (see Level 1 for reference).

Level 3 — Absolutely shitfaced. Wasted. Plastered. Sloshed. Zooted. Anything that exceeded the max of the previous levels. When he was that drunk, he couldn't contain the wild beast he deemed "Axel The Not-So-Great." When he was on level 3, he would probably end up in bed with someone.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." Axel lolled his head to the side, watching Raegan as she walked into his room, carrying a plastic bag. "How do you feel?"

"I feel fuckin' violated."

"Not surprised." She sat down on the edge of his bed and emptied the contents of the bag. She'd gotten a shit ton of junk food. "As tradition goes, I brought chocolate and hot chips. And some healthy shit, because I don't want your shit completely rocked."

Axel moaned. "Oh my God, Rae, I could fuckin' kiss you. C'mere, let me give you smooches — " He reached out for her, making grabby hands, but she scrunched her nose and moved out of range. "Damn, fuck you, too. Completely disregarding the pact we made."

Raegan rolled her eyes. "We made that when we were like, ten. It doesn't count."

"Fuck you. You know I'll never get married, so just wife me up, right the fuck now. I can cook."

"Axel, I will make your headache worse if you don't shut up."

"Jokes on you, my voice is so loud I've become immune to anything of similar volumes."

"How are you able to talk this much? You look like death."

        Axel shrugged, snatching up a bag of Reese's cups. "Pure willpower." He threw at least five of the sweets into his mouth. Raegan cringed at how he chewed. She hated it, so Axel started doing it on purpose to piss her off. This is a problem. I like pissing people off way too much.

         "Whatever. Anyway, I have to take you home by two, and it's noon. So. Let me do your makeup so you don't look like a zombie, yeah?"

         "'Kay."