The Bind

Idiot

ALEXI POV

You could have bowled me over with a badly timed puff of air as I watched the retreating figure. White hair reflected summer sun to a near blinding degree, and spots in my vision danced around her form. An unconscious hand reached toward her in memory of her life draining through my fingertips. Claire paused, lifted a shaking hand to a pounding heart, and turned just in time to miss my calculated dive behind a sprawling oak tree.

My own pulse emulated the rhythm, striking notes of desire, fear and anticipation with each throbbing beat. Her true visage was blocked by the tree, but the spots remained, imposing ghosts of blinding hair on the bark in front of me.

A blunt object assaulted my reverie, and the back of my head, accompanied by a blunt cudgel of exclamation.

"Idiot!" Becky made to thwack me again with the back of her hand over the crown of my head, but this time I dodged the assault. As effective as that well timed duck was, I couldn't employ evasive maneuvers to escape her derision at my cowardice.

"Can I see her through your eyes?" I asked hopefully, brushing dirt off my suit. By all rights I should be already at Where Enterprises to check in on the international trading before the day began, but I could not resist the opportunity to see her. Claire had come every morning this week in the hour before sunrise to ask for advice before flying off to tend to her pack.

I had taken to hiding in the garden like a peeping tom. Watching and listening like a creep.

Today Becky had told Claire that Diego had been offered an opportunity to tour the most influential packs spanning the globe. One day Diego would be the beta of the Blood Moon Pack, but for now he had enough freedom to take his new mate traipsing around the world visiting high ranking packs. With a liberal dose of being young, stupid and in love in between. Most creatures take a sojourn from the world after mating to explore their new bond, similar to a honeymoon, and the tour would provide the means for that end as well.

Lastly, it would also offer Sally the chance to learn about and find other were panthers and leopards through Africa and Asia. In the natural world panthers are rare, and this is mirrored in the creature world. Both were and natural panthers are a solitary species that usually only reach out to their own kind when they mate. They account for most of the 'rare black cat sightings' in unlikely places around the world. 

They are seldom surrounded by enough of their own kind, or presented with the necessary survival pressure, to activate their were DNA. After a few generations of normie presenting children, the family doesn't have anyone to pass the information down. It becomes a fond tale of the crazy great-grandparent who thought they could turn themselves into a cat.

Claire's wave of loneliness had washed over the tenuous - albeit tenacious - connection we shared as a clear voice had formed a cheerful statement of how great the opportunity was for both Sally and Diego.

"No. She is my friend now." Becky snapped at my request. "So take a moment to clean the stupid out of your ears, brother. I'll not allow you to satisfy your craving for her through me. Not when she has to suffer through an unsealed bond - on top of everything else - because of your inability to walk next door and start a conversation." Becky may not be hitting me with the weapons that were her hands, but her words slapped at my desire and pride all the same.

"When exactly am I meant to do that? Now, when she is needed by her a pack in remission? At midnight when she flies in and heads straight to the shower in tears? In the hour after where she has the first opportunity all day to collect herself? Or over the following hours when she barely steals an hour of continuous sleep before she wakes up screaming?" I snapped back with a lot of bark and just a little bite.

Claire's terror had been creeping into my consciousness. It was as if someone was playing a horror movie, showing a disjointed highlight reel of terrifying snippets and screening them on my retinas. I paced the sections our apartments that were separated by a mere wall. Wearing a hole in the floorboards and fighting the urge to break through and cradle her whenever those terrible screams tore her from rest.

"Idiot." Becky spat with her words and snapped with her mind, before storming back to the pack house to oversee the allocation of school supplies.

She was torn between obligation to a friend and duty to her pack, and the breaking point released the most flammable of emotions. Claire needed more support. In the normal course of events that would come by way of mate or friend. But Xavier was out of the picture. Diego needed Sally to heal, so Becky chose her pack. Then there was me, letting the team down. Hiding behind walls and trees.

Not only that, but she knew I would continue to let the team down.

I couldn't handle the idea of Claire's rejection in favor of Xavier. I could not suffer the idea of her acceptance, and losing Xavier to have her. I could not choose and would not make her. I kicked the oak tree, an explosion of frustration and dry bark flying through the air. I hadn't even wanted a mate and now I was acting like a socially incompetent teenager with his first crush.

Even now I could feel the speed of Claire's retreat toward her territory, and half moons of blood punctured my palm as a clenched fist held me in place.

Becky was right. 

** A/N Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I hope you are enjoying reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it! There is a piece of my soul in everything I write, and would really appreciate a vote or a comment about something that stood out to you, or made you smile :) **