The Bind

Me Time

CLAIRE POV

The forest disappeared beneath long strokes of robust wings. Flying to and fro between the city and the wilderness every day was tailoring my body for strength and endurance. Tonight I was stroking and coasting with lazy enjoyment under the influence of Otto's concoction.

The dense canopy meant that I couldn't see much of the ground, but when I did I saw patrols from both packs on their rounds. I shrieked to my wolves, the Triplets were on the border tonight, and they tried to drive me from the skies with a mind spike. 

I deflected it with ease and they 'yip yipped' back in response. It was a game we played, a friendly parody of the version we used to play with knives.

I tried to check in with Xavier again, this was something I wanted to share with him. The impulse fell short, leaving the words to drop and ring hollow into empty, unanswered spaces.

Just the awareness that he was alive and content right now. It was a habit. Every hour or so I would reach out. I didn't really expect a response any more, but it was comforting to feel his aliveness nonetheless. Silence and I were resigned bedfellows now, it had layered itself over the jagged edges Xavier's removal has wrought. If a response had reached back with any sort of coherence my owl probably would have dropped from the skies in surprise.

I tuned out the babble of the pack, trying to enjoy the feeling of wind through my feathers, and the peaceful sounds of the night. I had jousted with my words over a round table. I had provided for my pack. Now that the important things had been accomplished, I could focus on myself, and try out the flying meditation one of the psych students had been explaining this afternoon.

But one matter kept banging on the walls of my mind, intruding on my peace. I had been doing my best to ignore the moodswings, the yearning and the gaping chasm demanding to be filled, explaining it away with the excuse of Xavier's absence.

But now the inkling creeping around the edges of my stubborn heart had a face. My mate. A thrill fluttered through my airborne body to the tips of my wings, but was replaced with a sinking feeling that slowed my heavy heart. Because, he wasn't mine and did not appear to want to be so. 

I gave in to the battering thought anyway and linked Ben to quiz him about multiple mates. He told me with a nervous tone that it was not common, but it happened. He then reassured me that after reconsidering the facts, it was unlikely that Xavier would mate with someone else.

I'm not concerned about that Ben, it is something to do with my pack. I linked back, which was technically true according to my tipsy reasoning. I was a part of my pack.

Oh, in that case, please observe office hours next time. But since it is obviously playing on your mind I'll fill in some of the gaps. Multiple mates are actually considered lucky. They are usually the strongest of unions because three creatures are supporting each other fully. He was a veritable font of information now that the personal aspect had been removed.

That is, if it all works out. Sometimes toxically possessive meta mates - two mates bonded to one, but not each other - take each other out. That happens most often with bears and owls, who are the more independent of creatures to begin with. Ben hiccoughed and I realised with a start that his loquacious nature was attributed to him being as inebriated as I was. A twittering chortle bubbled from deep in my small owl chest as I signed off on the conversation with thanks.

The rustle of dry leaves below accompanied my flight as I turned the new piece of information over and over, before holding it up to the rest of the pieces of my puzzle.

I didn't think that would be a problem with Xavier, but the last thing I wanted to do would be to hurt him enough to bring out his worst side. We had agreed not to play with family, friends, political rivals or creatures that would bring drama into our relationship.