SMILE ✔︎

W H A T A M I D O I N G ?

W H A T A M I D O I N G ?

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A U G U S T 1 1 , 1 9 9 8

"I have to.... um... stay here too..? Please?" Koa says.

My face and heart drop.

What the fuck-

Royce furrows his eyebrows, "I'm not sure Koa... I'm already full here... you might've able to get to Jack's?"

"No no please! I won't be long my moms boyfriend is just staying over for two days and I don't like him. I'll sleep on the couch!"

Royce sighs, looking at me a little bit.

He hasn't looked me in the eyes in a few days, ever since Koa has been hanging out here more he's put more attention into her.

Right after his eyes looked at mine this look of guilt washed over his face.

What did he do? What's happening?

But he just moves his eyes as quick as possible and turns his head to her, "Uhh... fine. Be out quick.... just um... Kel can you talk to me?" He asks, but before I answer he grabs onto my wrist and stands up, tensely walking over to our room.

He slams the door and I wince, "Ow Royce! You're grip was so hard-"

He turns around quickly, pinning me against the door and pushing his lips against mine.

He had peach fuzz, soft against my skin, and his hands that pinned my wrists to the painted white wood were harsh but still so beautiful, veins covering them and his fingers slim.

But god his lips were so soft and it made me almost want to not do anything about the kiss, but I knew I had to call him out. He can't mess with my emotions this much after barely paying attention to me for one and a half weeks.

Let me put this into perspective for you in this freeze-frame like moment where my thoughts are racing at 100 mph.

After I helped the girls unpack sense they're staying here, he could barely look at Me.

I cooked him breakfast! Could barely look at me.

I watched a movie with Camden and his "girlfriend". He didn't once pay attention to me. He just sat next to me, his jaw tense, and his hand on my thigh.

It's funny how things can change so quickly and he's such an enigma.

I mean god did he get so offended when I said he'd choose a different girl one day that he just chose her now!?

But Y'know, we will have to see.

I push my wrists against his fingers that held them back and he knew well enough what that meant so he stopped, and pulled back with a look of guilt but oh so much sorrow and confusion.

"Look I've not been taking this the way I should-"

"What the fuck!?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows.

I don't get angry often, it's only occasional, but when I do... it's because I'm truly and utterly hurt to my core.

And I'm hurt, because he.... he broke his promises. So many of them.

That he'd never leave me, that he'd never hurt me, that he'd never... ever... choose somebody else...

"What? What do you mean? I- I can explain how I've been acting Kelca-"