Monasterio Series #5: Risks and Chances

Kabanata 19

Kabanata 19

Falling

I won't shout, freak out or overreact upon seeing Alas beside me as I woke up. I'm not one of those ridiculous women who become hysterical just because they found a man lying beside them like they were never aware of it.

What's next after that? Ask the most cliche question of course. Ano'ng ginawa mo sa akin?!

Tss. Stupidity.

As I anchored my eyes on the white ceiling, I breathed a sigh until I felt a little movement beside me. Maging ay kamay sa ibabaw ng tiyan ko ay bahagya rin gumalaw dahilan para lumipat ang tingin ko roon.

"I slept too long. You should have woken me up." I said through a lazy voice while slowly removing his hand from my stomach.

"You were sleeping soundly last night."

Hearing his bed room voice made me lock my eyes for a little while. His warm breath was even slanting across my neck and it somehow sent shiver deep down my spine. Feeling his skin on me, I can already tell that his fever finally subsided.

"Get your face out of my neck, Alas."

He moaned and even put his hand back on my stomach. He pulled me closer to him and nuzzled my neck tighter!

"I wasn't wrong about your neck."

I swallowed. "W-What do you mean?"

"That it smells heaven."

Umikot ang mga mata ko at mahinang hinampas ang kamay niya sa ibabaw ng tiyan ko.

"Para-paraan ka. Lubayan mo na ako dahil papasok pa ako sa trabaho."

He didn't dare to move even a bit as if he didn't hear anything from me. Everytime he breathe out, I couldn't help but to sigh. I knew right of this time that could never follow the deal anymore.

I shut my eyes, feeling the fast beating of my heart. Simula nung gabing magkrus ang mga landas namin ni Alas, wala ako ni kaunting ideya na mahuhulog ako sa kaniya. O, na magkakaroon ako ng nararamdaman para sa kaniya. We were both broken hearted that time, he still is. Ang gusto ko lang noon ay makalimot sa ginawang pangloloko sa akin ni Kris.

I never wish to have someone who will heal me or make me forget my past. Naniniwala akong kaya kong pagalingin ang sarili ko at hindi ko kailangan ng iba.

I always keep my guards high even when I was still with Kris. I wanted him to see me as a strong woman, that even if he hurt me, I would never cry.

But then Alas came. He's trying to break my guards little by little until I'm finally exposed. It makes me feel anxious. Dahil baka oras na mabasag na ang lahat ng harang na itinayo ko sa paligid ko at tuluyan niya na akong mahawakan at makita, ako mismo sa sarili ko ay alam na hindi ko na magagawang magtago pa... maging ang katotohanang nahuhulog na ako sa kaniya.

"Thanks for taking care of me last night." he whispered that snapped me out of my thoughts.

Wala akong naisagot. Hindi ko maintindhan kung bakit nakakaramdam ako ng kirot sa puso ko. Hindi ko mahanap ang tamang dahilan. Maybe I'm afraid because I know that when I'm finally sure that I'm already falling for him, he won't be there to catch me.

"Alas..." tawag ko sa mahinang boses habang nakatulala sa  kisame.

"Yes, baby?"

"Why are you calling me that way?"

Hindi ko agad siya naringgan ng sagot. Nilingon ko siya at nakitang nakasubsob pa rin ang mukha niya sa leeg ko, nakapikit at kalmado na akala mo ay natutulog.