My secret love

Chapter 3

Everyday of the week Matt would check the calendar that hung on a cork board in their small kitchen, praying that at some point James would write down the details. Matt even began fervently refreshing his messages, something he rarely did.

By the time Friday rolled around, and Matt had received no message nor seen anything new written on the calendar, he lost hope. He supposed he should have asked James directly, it's not like they were strangers... But he didn't want to seem desperate to go for this meal, especially because Shannon would be there, touching up James freely and probably attempting to remake the Lady & The Tramp pasta scene. Matt cringed at the thought.

In all honesty, Matt just wanted to have some sort of date with James. Sure, previously they had gone out to dinner or gotten a takeaway whilst watching a film, but this time was different. This time he was competing for someones attention, competing with a girlfriend who he first met through seeing her half way to shagging James.

The only reason Matt classed a simple kiss with James as 'half way to shagging' was due to a drunken, fleeting kiss they shared on New Year's eve at a night club. The clock struck midnight and couples and even strangers around them began kissing, it was here when James took a swig of his beer and turned to Matt. The kiss was sloppy and lasted a second before James pulled away laughing, screaming "Happy New Years!" as the surrounding people continued to make out.

Matt shook the thought from his head quickly. Now was no time to be thinking about this, he had attempted to repress the memory especially due to the embarrassing conversation that took place the following morning. Whilst James drank his coffee, scrambling through his medicine cabinet for anything to rid him of his hangover, Matt decided to bring up the kiss. But James looked at him with raised eyebrows. "We never kissed, Matt... I think you drank a little too much last night!" James laughed heartily, and Matt laughed too although inside he could feel himself shutting down.

He quickly glanced at the calendar again. 'As if something would magically appear on that, dingbat.' he thought, although he wished some spell had been cast and he would see a date,written in James' sloppy handwriting where he used smiley faces instead of dots on the top of his 'i'. The curly haired boy turned on his heel, forgetting about making coffee or eating breakfast. Instead he went towards the bathroom to get ready for the work day.

As he applied his moisturiser, Matt began thinking again. Maybe he should just ask James. It isn't like James would care. But when making decisions to ask his secret crush anything, he reminisces on that morning when James crushed Matt's heart without even knowing. However, he knew he had to get over that and letting one small conversion dictate his entire thought process wasn't healthy. By the time Matt had returned to his room and was spraying cologne, he had decided to just ask James. He knew that today they both worked late, and Matt wasn't one to talk after a long day of dealing with unruly children.

As per his daily routine, he checked his bag thrice to make sure he had all his extra pens and equipment, his books and his metal water bottle. As usual they were there, so now he had no excuse to not ask James. No mask or shield to hide behind. With deep breaths, Matt walked up to James' bedroom door and gave a light knock. In some way, he hoped that James wouldn't hear and Matt could go about his day with the excuse of him at least attempting to ask. But the God's above must hate him, they must want to watch him suffer embarrass himself.

And soon James stood before him, his hair messy from sleep, wearing checkered pyjama bottoms and no shirt. His muscles were even more defined up close rather than seen through a bathroom door. Matt gulped, his eyes taking in James' body, he had no control over them, and he prayed James was too tired to notice the obvious display.
"Are you alright, Moth?" James' tired voice snapped Matt out of his stare. Moth was the nickname James had given Matt the first month they had met. You see, James had misheard Matt's name and, judging by the fact Matt was dressed like it was the 1950's and he was vegan, James assumed it was his real name. It seemed fitting. However, he rarely called him it, especially because every time he did Matt got this smug look on his face and laughed on the memory of James calling him an entirely different name for a month.