It Should've Been You: Book One

Hazel

It started with a look.

A single glance in the middle of the crowd.

A moment when the world seemed to stop.

I immediately fell in love with him and his eyes glistened among the colored lights.

But I should've known...

Of course, some loser would stop my tracks from going up to him.

"Uh hey."

I'm left in surprise by this sudden person who has stepped in front of me. His tall figure blocks me from seeing the boy that has left my heart pacing.

"Uh..hi." I push past him but he blocks my way again.

"I-I-I was wondering if you wanted to dance?"

I observe his nervous state and scoff. "First take a Benadryl pill for me and then we can talk." I push past him and finally stand clear of the path.

Only to find myself on an empty path in front of me. I let out a sigh and turned around to make my way back to the bench. Not even the loser that interrupted is nowhere to be found.

I would be as drunk as my roommate, but science has given me a new perspective on things.

The next morning, I woke up early to go out for a run and came back to the sound of puking inside our small restroom.

I gently open the door to see my roommate with her head in the toilet. My first instinct is to hold her hair back and put a hand on her forehead.

"Shoot, Madds," I say. "How many drinks was it?"

She giggles once she finishes and I quickly flush the toilet as she sits on the ground. Just by looking at her drowsy eyes, I know it must've been at least five or six strong drinks.

"Oh, Hazel," she says; trying to imitate my accent. "You know us French really know how to party..." Madds does another giggle and then gags.

I quickly help her to the toilet and wince at the sound of how horrible her poor stomach must feel. I have to get another coffee for her...again.

I give her a coffee and quickly run to class. She's supposed to be there early since it's presentation day, but I won't risk my scholarship for her.

By the time I finish up with my presentation, my professor always smiles at me. She's told me that she loves my accent and that's why I always have to go first.

Another guy goes up and I hear the door behind me open. I shake my head. I don't have to look up to know that it's Madds. She sits next to me with a sigh.

"Finally decided to join?" I softly say without looking up from my notes.

"Did you go already?" she whispers.

"Yes."

"Dammit. I wanted to make fun of you afterward."

"Madeleine!" We look up to see our professor with her arms crossed on her chest. Her brown eyes firmly look at Madds as she says, "I see you've decided to join us. Why don't you go next?"

"It's Madeline," she says under her breath as she makes her way to the front. But I've always found it quite impressive the way she can transform into a very professional person. In her French accent, she fluently talks about the presentation she prepared only hours before going to that party.

The professor sighs as she gives her a perfect score and rolls her eyes. "Thank you, Ms. LaRue."

Madds nods and makes her way back to me with a smirk on her lips. "Told you," she whispers to me. "Aced it. I do better when I'm hungover."

I do a soft scoff as she puts her head back and closes her eyes. She's been the first person I've appreciated ever since my father left. I lost my mother on that day also. Ever since that day, I've learned to take care of myself.

I still remember it like it was yesterday. My father was a good guy. At least that's what I saw in him when I was five. He was my hero and I thought he saw me as the only girl that could make his heart beat faster. At least that's what he used to tell me.

One day, I heard my parents argue. But it wasn't the argument that usually ended up with giggles from my mother. This time, they both pounded things against the kitchen counter, and their voices were raised with every passing moment.

I dropped my doll and walked up to the kitchen to peek in. My mother would usually get angry at me for being so curious when it came to arguments, but she didn't even see me as her teary eyes burned daggers at my father.

Then my father looked at me and his eyes did not soften as they always did. All he did was take the keys to his car and start towards the door.

"No!" my mother yelled after him as she followed him to the door. "What are we going to do without you?! I promise I'll change and I'll be better than that woman, but please stay!"

"I have a family over there! Not here!"

"What about your daughter?!"

At the moment, I didn't understand anything they were saying. The only thing that mattered to me was following my father. "Daddy! Where are you going?!" But my father ignored my frantic voice and despite my mother holding my shoulder, I pulled away and ran down the front steps to hold his leg. "Daddy! I want to go with you!"

We always used to go everywhere together but that time, he forgot who I was and pushed me off his leg. I remember only feeling a sharp pain in my head as I fell on the grass. At least it wasn't on the hard rubble as my mother came out and yelled curses at him.

I didn't talk for a whole week. I'd look out my window as I waited for his arrival and to run into his arms. All I wanted was his warmth so I could forgive him. That's all I needed. Just a smile. Just a hug...

But he never came and my mother slowly disappeared with him as well. She was never the same and I realized it when she forgot me at my school in Kindergarten for hours. I took that time to go into the library and read.

I guess I could thank my father for leaving. Because of it, I learned to love science. The human body. Thus, I'm majoring in Biomedical Sciences with a Concentration in Pediatrics.

Despite my accomplishments, I will probably never forgive my father. Sometimes I feel like I'm still waiting for him to come back, but then I remind myself of the scene that haunts me every night.

I should've known.....