So Long & Goodnight...

Part 5: Beyond Addiction

Edgar twiddled his thumbs in the pockets of his uniform vest as he counted his steps. He would quickly glance at each passing street light as he followed his white haired co-worker to her house. He was beyond anxious, hiding the lower half of his red face in his worn out scarf. Colette walked just a few steps ahead of him, clutching her beloved scrapbook tightly within her long sleeves. Edgar couldn't help but look at her leg as she limped forward. Even when a car would zoom past them, he would keep staring at her with guilt. He was conflicted internally, with a blend of self-hatred yet bliss.

"H-hey..." he called out, about to offer to carry her.

"Well, here we are." Colette exclaimed, ignoring his call as she looked at a plain looking apartment complex.

Edgar just covered his face even more as he followed her inside. The two boarded an elevator, standing side-by-side in awkward silence. They stood listening to the droning noise of the ascension. Edgar tried keeping a straight face while looking directly at the cold metal doors, waiting for anyone to break the tension. Every so often he would glance at Colette anxiously, as her expression wasn't entirely clear under her messy bangs.

"Ding!" the elevator sounded as it opened the door of the cell of awkwardness. They walked down the shaggy hall, reaching a door littered with stickers and signs.

"Go ahead and feel at home, I just need some freshening up." she said, inviting the nervous wreck into her room.

Walking in, Edgar was hit hard by the extravagant amount of Brawl Stars decor. The room was more than just pink, but a shower of familiar faces and litters of pins. He plopped down on a small wooden chair in the corner, moving a Lou plushie off of it and onto the mountain of stuffed goods on her bed. He clutched his knees as he sat waiting for Colette as she fixed herself in the bathroom. He looked around, overwhelmed by the posters and merchandise that he wasn't sure she paid for. He made it an effort to quickly look away from anything Piper or Bibi related, but couldn't help but enviously stare at the damaged Spike plush at the center of her pile. The thing was missing a button for an eye, and was covered in holes that exposed its cotton organs. However, he also stared at it in order to avert his gaze from her impressive desk, which displayed under desk light a rugged piece of graphing paper. Edgar simply cringed at the sight.

"Okayyy, I'm done!" Colette shouted, exiting the bathroom in a set of pajamas with sleeves still too long for her.

Edgar smiled and waved like a dork, immediately regretting it and smacking himself with his scarf. Colette giggled and sat on her bedside, clutching her Spike plush as she initiated conversation.

"Okay, now, where were we?" she asked.

Edgar pondered. "Y-you said we could 'give it a shot?'"

"Wow, you actually remembered?" she teased. "You almost sound more obsessed than me! Hahaha!"

"Hnnngggg" he whined, covering his face completely in his palms.

"Ha... Anyways, straight to the point, there's two things I need to talk to you about, Edgar." she continued, shifting into a more serious tone. "First of all, are you sure you want to be with... me?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, masking his envy.

"I mean, it's no secret I'm obsessed with all these brawlers. Especially my favorites, pretty Piper and cutie Spike~" she said, holding her hands together and looking dreamily at the collage she made of her and the two brawlers on her bulletin board. "But... doesn't it hurt you when I obsess over them?"

Edgar looked down for a moment, covering just one eye with the hand rested on his knee. "O-okay, I do get a little jealous. Actually, really jealous. But I'd rather that than guilt you for it or whatever."

"I know you have your creepy little crushes on everyone in the park, but I know you like it and I don't wanna rid you of it..." he meekly said, slowly covering his mouth in his scarf. "A-and I like how happy you look talking about them..."

"But why me? Out of anyone, why did you like me? Even though you know I love all these brawlers?" she asked worriedly.

"Ugh, cus I don't just have a crush on you, okay!?" he said in his familiar angsty tone. "You actually gave a damn to talk to me. I know we're just co-workers, but you made me feel like I had a friend, okay?"

Colette smiled a bit at hearing the word 'friend.' "Soooooo, you fell for a friend that likes other people?"

Edgar buried his face into his knees. "I-I couldn't help it, okay? You were really nice and uplifting, or something like that... I really liked you and how you made me happy..."

A silence was spent before Colette asked another question.

"But... are you happy with yourself?"

The question caught him off guard, shivering his spine.

"Edgar, to be honest, I don't think I would've accepted your letter. I mean, it's really pretty, but of all brawlers, it's hard to love you..." she said, rubbing her arm.

"You're always so angry and violent, and you keep your feelings to yourself. It hurt a lot to know you just let yourself get hurt just for me. You didn't tell me even though we were buds..." she continued, now slowly shedding tears.

At that moment Edgar instinctively leaped off of his seat and knelt before his crying friend. He brushed off her bangs and wiped her face with his thumb. His face looked pained and infinitely more expressive.

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't consider it like that, a-and I just wanted to protect you from feeling like this..." he explained, paranoid.

"You're not a hero, Edgar. You're my friend, and I just want you to be happy too..." she said, taking his hand off her face.

Hearing that, he was ready to hit himself again in frustration, only for his scarf to be stopped by Colette. Catching the fisticuffed scarf, she squeezed it, but let it go when they slithered away. She turned her hand and rubbed Edgar's hair. At that moment, all rage exited his body, causing him to explode in tears. He couldn't stop crying or coughing, and his sniffles felt infinite. His hands were still in fists, but were instead rubbing his bawling black colored eyelids. He cried loudly as his scarf gripped and scratched hard on the shaggy carpet. Colette dropped her plush and got on her knees, joining Edgar on the floor. She embraced him tightly.

"B-but w-why..." Edgar stuttered. "W-why did you s-still say you'd g-give it a try..?"

Colette gritted her teeth and cried with him. "Because you care about me too..."

Edgar's fists finally released and clutched his crying partner as well. The two soaked the carpet in tears as they squeezed each other in defeated spirits.

"Edgar..." she whispered. "Please promise me..."

"Promise what?"

"Please promise me you'll love yourself too..."

"I will. You already help me do that..."

Colette's face tightened. "Idiot, I want you to do that by yourself too..."

"Sorry, I will." Edgar gripped tighter. "You don't just help me, y-you inspire me to..."

1:30 am, the two still cried on that shaggy carpet.