when nixie rose ester oliver gets a surprise email saying that she has been chosen as harry styles's tour photographer, she says yes.
she says the three letter word that has the power to change your whole life.
luckily for her it did, in the form o...
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HARRY'S POV
To my dearest Nix,
I don't believe this life was our first time meeting. I said from the start that it felt like we had known each other for years, Nix, and maybe it was because we did. I refuse to believe that I could ever love a stranger the way I loved you. I think it's because my heart remembered the love my mind forgot.
Because even when the world is so cruel, it was kind enough to give me you.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I never loved you. If the world would turn slower. If the days would have last longer. I think you saved me from that my love. That awful meaningless existence.
Even though you're gone now, I still tell your star about your adventures. I tell them every detail. And then when my star comes around, I tell it the same story.
But that's only in the middle of the night, when suddenly I realise that the stars don't shine as bright as you did, and my thoughts take me to where you are now. Just so that I can live with you again for a mere few seconds. I can bathe in how much I miss you, how it physically pains me to see everyone talking about you as if you're still here.
Because you're not, Nixie. You won't ever be in my arms again.
Then, when I wake up from the dreamland that you lie in, I stop spending every second thinking of you. I stop thinking about your 'golden' tattoo that stood out so powerfully on your skin, a scar of all of your beauty. I stop thinking about the glimmer of mischief in your eyes when you were about to join me in one of my stupid adventures. I stop thinking about your clothes, even though I wear them sometimes, and your jewellery. I'm wearing your necklace now. The one I got you for Christmas when we were both so alive. Remember?
To be truthful, I think I felt the most alive when I was with you. This never stopped, either. Even when we were so many miles away and had a whole ocean trying to tear us apart, my heart still beat so happily just at the picture of you in my mind. I always said that you were like a drug. The best kind, at that.
Because you were always so happy. Your eyes lit up at everything, even the sight of a rain cloud on your birthday. You managed to convince me the world was beautiful even in all of its cruelty, all of its destruction. When I was sad, all you would have to do to make me feel like a million butterflies were bursting inside of me was to whisper the words 'it's so beautiful' in my ear. I always knew what you meant. We were that connected, that even our secrets had a language that only each other's could understand. Isn't that amazing?
Just knowing that we might still be seeing the same stars is enough for me to want to stay here in life without you. I'm sorry to say that I wouldn't live even if you begged me to stay. It would be too painful without the reassurance that you're still here with me, somewhere, somehow.
But this is just another break, isn't it my love? We'll make it through again. Won't we?
I promise.
Because Nixie Oliver, I promise you, even through a million stars shining above, that we'll be alright.
