Curtain Call - An AJR Fic (Everything Clicks - Book 3)

Bummerland (Jack)

I don't remember much of what happened immediately after it all. The next thing I knew, we were getting in the car and driving away from the hotel. I don't know how long we drove; I don't know how far. I just knew we had to get away. We couldn't bear the burden of what we had just seen and experienced. It was going to stay with me for the rest of my life.

Adam...fuck...

Neither of us could speak to each other the entire drive. It wasn't out of hostility or anger, or anything like that. It was more the lack of the proper words to say, and the swirling of emotions and thoughts in both of our heads. All I could think about, all I could pour my energy into, was Adam. I wanted him there with us. I wanted him back. I'd do anything...just to see his face again.

It took the slowing down of the car to bring me back to reality. Ryan had pulled over on the side of the road next to a field full of lavender stalks. He looked out of my window at them with a blank expression before unbuckling his seatbelt and stepping out of the car. I wasn't sure what he was doing, but I followed.

I stood at the edge of the field and watched Ryan. He walked through the stalks, being careful not to crush any of them, until he found a bare patch. He sat down amongst the lavender and glanced over his shoulder, motioning for me to join him. I stepped gently through the tall stalks and found my way over to him, sitting down beside him. We sat in silence, looking around at the scenery.

"...He would love this," Ryan muttered after a few minutes. A tear rolled down his cheek.

I tried to hold my emotions in as I put my arm around his shoulder. Ryan's entire body shook as he cried.

"Jack...it's my fault," He stared at the ground. "I shouldn't have been so selfish. I wanted to..." He hesitated, his voice faltering.

"...You wanted to kill him." I completed.

Ryan sighed. "I know it's wrong. I don't...I don't know why I would ever do such a thing. But...when he was in front of me, all of the rage I've bottled up over the past two years just...spilled over," He took his glasses off and wiped the tears from his eyes. "And now, because I was too naive, Adam's..." He held his head in his hands.

I sat with what he was saying for a moment, then shook my head. "Ry...I'm not angry with you. I'm sure Adam wouldn't be, either. I mean, is murder illegal and a crime? Yes. But you didn't kill The General. You proved a point. You wanted to make him know the extent of what he did, and I'm certain you did that. And we couldn't have predicted that he was going to do that in retaliation," I looked him in the eyes sympathetically. "You can't blame yourself for what happened."

Ryan exhaled deeply. "Blaming myself seems like the only logical thing to do..."

I put my hands on his shoulders. "You couldn't have known. Neither of us could have known..."

My voice trailed off with that last part, and I think Ryan noticed it. I started to remember something that had happened to me. It seemed like ages ago by now, but I knew better than that. And now after time had passed, it was making more and more sense to me. My heart sank as I realized what I had to tell Ryan.

"Jack?" Ryan called out.

I sighed. "Ry...do you remember that dream I had before we left?"

Ryan glanced down at the grass, then back at me. He nodded.

I hesitated. "It was...one of the worst nightmares I've ever had. Everything went wrong. The apartment flooded, then everything was upside down. And then...there were clones of me. And they taunted and teased me, they...told me I was going to die. If you guys hadn't woken me up, I don't know what would've been next...it felt like an omen, some kind of premonition for this whole thing."