Call me kitten (boyxboy love) ✓

9. Make it up to me

Something beeped insistently nearby, and I opened my eyes to localize the sound. The sight made my whole body tense up in pure terror for a brief moment. An unfamiliar room. But then reality came back and I remembered that I hadn't slept in my own bed last night. I was in Ash's bed. In his apartment. And even if the initial fright had vanished, panic came trickling down my spine instead. Was this really what I wanted? Wasn't it better to go back to what I knew, to the life I could predict in minute detail? My chest constricted and I turned to my side.

Ash was there, he still had his eyes closed and was slowly moving as the alarm wasn't stopping. His brows furrowed discontented, and he grunted, suddenly opening his eyes and looking at me. His annoyed face turned into a heart-stopping smile and my panic melted away. He didn't look like he regretted inviting me here. He rested his chin in his hand.

"Sorry about the alarm," he said calmly and turned it off. "I have to get up this early, unfortunately. Good morning, by the way."

"Good morning," I shyly smiled back.

He got up and started rummaging through his closet until finally settling on a pair of gray jeans and a t-shirt with Japanese print. I sat on the edge of the bed and realized that I would have to go to work in the same clothes two days in a row. That had never happened to me before. Ever.

"You can sleep some more I you want, I can leave the key," Ash said and went for the kitchen.

But to be alone in someone else's apartment was too great a leap for me. My newly found bravery didn't really reach that far, so I went after Ash to the kitchen.

"It's not at problem," I said when Ash handed me a cup of coffee. "I'll just leave at the same time as you."

It felt weird standing in his kitchen drinking coffee. I had no idea what to do with myself, I usually had my coffee at my cubicle at work. Furthermore, I didn't know how to act when you had just spent the night in the same bed as another guy. Was it different than with a girl? Did you talk about different things? Or was it fine to just scratch my ass and act normal? I was at a loss. The daylight didn't make matters any better, it seemed to burn away the events from the night before, making them seem unreal. Had I really done all those things? With him?

When we were riding the elevator down to ground floor Ash gently placed a hand on my shoulder. He eyed me up and down and I had problems meeting his gaze again.

"Regretting coming with me?" he asked quietly.

But I didn't regret it. I just felt weird and out of place.

"No, I'm not," I said, trying to gather my blurred thoughts into words. "It's just that I haven't woken up in somebody else's bed before. It feels kinda weird. I don't know why, but it's like... Like the things we did yesterday was just a dream. Like it didn't really happen."

I felt my cheeks flush and cursed silently. Ash pressed the emergency stop button and the elevator came to a halt. He slowly caressed my cheek, his touch feeling cool against my heated skin.

"You really have control issues, don't you," he smiled and tilted my face up. "Does this feel real to you?"

His kiss was light and soft and made my heart flutter.

"Yeah..." I admitted and just like that I didn't want to go to work at all anymore.

"Well then," he said and started the elevator again. "I'll just have to remind you from time to time."

The way to work was quiet, quieter than Ash would have wanted, that I could tell. He tried to start a conversation, but I was having more and more trouble relaxing, the closer we got to the office building. When someone said hi behind me, I was so nervous I jumped out of my skin, before discovering that it was my sister. And then I wanted to die.