make me stay.

thirtysix

♜

"how are you feeling?" zavia offered one of her sweetest smiles as she watched me twist uncomfortably.
"okay, mostly," i nod, taking in deep breaths. "my breakfast sits just right about here though," i place a finger just above my collarbones, right on my throat as i stretch it out. "you know, just in case, i should feel more okay, later."

zavia chuckles as she brushes a hand up my back. i watch myself in the mirrors, running my hands over the fabric. it feels stiff and bumpy but it looks wonderful nonetheless.
a genuine smile spreads on my lips. "insanity," i mumbled to myself.

"you look beautiful, mars." bexleys chimes in from behind me. she has a shift for tonight just like every other maid in the entire castle but i pulled her into the dressing room without me before she could object.

"it feels wrong," i finally admit. i turn around, watching both the women behind me as they frown. "doesn't it?"
zavia studies me with a finger beneath her chin, running her eyes over the dress. "mmm," she mumbles to herself as a deep frown folds on her forehead.

we discuss perhaps adding a bit of jewellery but it doesn't seem to fill the spot of the missing element. already, even before the ball has begun, i'm exhausted.

"he'll love it, regardless," becket squeals excitedly. i look behind me in the mirror watching her smiling for ear to ear and it almost reminds me off lily.

"hopefully," i say lowly. it was meant mostly to myself as i felt a soft spinning in my chest. it almost felt like my heart was humming, happy as it sped up its pace along with the memories i had of mercer and i from the last few weeks.

"mmm," north mumbled lowly, the pillow pushed up against the side of his face jumbling the sound he was making, as i gave his butt a second pinch.

"that cannot be pleasent," i said, annoyed that he wouldn't wake up from the pinching.

"it's not, but it won't wake me up if that's your agenda," he mumbled, the pillow once again at play.

"then what will? i'm bored, and you're taking up half the bed," i whined, giving the other cheek a harder pinch.

"this," he smiled before rolling onto his side and lastly pinning me down beneath him as he continued to roll. with one heavy blink his eyes opened, like had he never been asleep, and his lips moved on mine in a good morning that spoke better than words.

"no more snoozing, then." the king spoke clearly, before pushing himself off of me and heading towards the bathroom on his right.

i whined, pouting my lips before pulling the covers up and over my face to fall back asleep in the darkness it had created.

over the last few weeks, north and i had lived in darkness. as the weather cooled with winter nearing us, the sun presented itself for shorter amounts of time for each passing day. this meant that the ball was nearing us but still gave us a pocket of peace until that date would arrive.
the king and queen weren't expected to be anywhere, and no one was watching us. it felt almost just like back in our childhood, hanging out with him again. he hadn't kissed me once in the last weeks, hadn't even attempted to make a single move other than often holding my hand, which i was grateful for. i couldn't commit to him in any way yet, if even ever, after all that had happened. however, it still felt nice to be close to him again and it had all begun at the enrolment when north and i ran away.

he had led me into the woods, deeper than i had ever been. he knew the way by heart, it was clear, as he did quick turns and twists along the road, which did not seem to have much thought behind it other than memory.