I would like to say that grief did not change me for the worse. I knew that coping with that kind of loss would challenge me. I knew that it would be fervent and relentless. I knew that I would be out of my depths. To lose someone is to lose something from your life, a carefully cultivated relationship. A bond and connection severed by force, something more than distance.
And yet somehow, I am still haunted by it. It is present in my mornings, in my afternoons and my evenings. In passing daydreams and fitful nightmares, in the midst of my schoolwork and on my bus rides home. It will remain trapped in my airways and between my ribs for as long as I live.
It is true that grief makes monsters of humans. It brings out the worst in us, qualities and behaviours we previously deemed unspeakable. Grief makes people naïve. It is easy to believe that you are indestructible when you have never faced such obstacles before. I am no exception. I am not indestructible; Grief has made me a monster too.
In loving memory of Josiah-Jean, who was torn from us too soon.
This story directly discusses mental health, including depression, anxiety, and self harm. Some authors notes will be left as a warning beforehand, but be wary of your own triggers.
If you need immediate support, contact your local helplines via text or phoning, or speak to someone trustworthy. Your life is valuable, take care of it.
Any recommended music or playlists will be added, link and/or listed individually.
Thankyou
- Deina
Character themes:
Julian: Hollow Wine Grove - Simon Alexander.
Josiah: Monolith - T. Rex
Selene: Nothing burns like the cold - Snoh Aalegra
Evette: Song About Me - TV Girl
Ezekiel: Watcha Say? - CHROMA, A-Wall
Elizabeth: Pink + White - Frank Ocean
Diana: Halley's Comet - Billie Eilish
Jordan: I Don't Wanna Be Me - Type O Negative
Kaspar: Mama's Boy - Dominic Fike
Each main character also has their own playlist with music which inspired their creation or writing. Their main theme will always be the first track :)
Julian: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1BFDZnODsmWBQCXjLQwBLa?si=d1e208eea4df4054
Josiah: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5BS9pdbA9AMe5xcHAJE1RT?si=aae362730d05411f
Evette: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4AtpcMi3xRDUH8AVIs77c1?si=e66639f2856049c7
Selene: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/354kcUsJhXobv4UJibd9Lo?si=a7409b125c6a4bf2
Ezekiel: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0mPpKxhU6ihBFSGT4lIwVy?si=96e02470574048f9
Elizabeth: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0AIyTjPvhmIKUXwITUUvdP?si=8be77375ce0e434a
Diana: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6ggspt9dnl5I4zpT7sEvR7?si=39d74cc9e104493f
Jordan: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/36WCchopNqzN0DpqRwaHBf?si=bfae49d573e44edd
Kaspar: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5t4fsOjaFVFZWraFhfhBzL?si=d75eec967c5c4e69
BINABASA MO ANG
Inhale
Teen FictionExhale, repeat. How far will you go? Ask Julian Laurence and he will tell you he is living the dream. Despite his flaws and overwhelming anxiety, Julian has everything he needs at school. Wealthy, privately educated, and surrounded by his friends; w...
