Worth The Fight ✓

Chapter Nine

QUOTE OF THE CHAPTER:

"The most important thing is to enjoy your life-to be happy-it's all that matters."
― Audrey Hepburn

Dedication: @mythesque (she's my little sister)

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CHAPTER NINE

Solitude is infectious - wait, it isn't infectious in a way that it spreads among people, it's infectious on its own, in one body, it spreads through the veins till there's not a single cell that isn't alone. Thus, in better words, it's addictive. Eye-catching. Peaceful. From a very detailed experience, I know that it's the most peaceful way of living, for a couple of weeks - or months if you are stubborn enough. But after then, I can assure you that loneliness is the loudest scream in the void. It doesn't only deafen people but also blinds them. It's so loud that it makes you unable to hear anything else - it prevents you from concentrating or living. If you're alone, it's a full-time job. It even comes to your bed with you.

Frankly, thoughts are loud. But if you are surrounded by people, you don't hear them. It's like a song that you know playing on the background and you're so busy to listen to it carefully. You know that it exists, and it's your choice to rise the volume or not. But if you are a loner, even the walls are speaking. They are the reminders of how lonely you are, and you know you're actually talking to the walls when you catch yourself speaking your thoughts out. There is no one else to listen, or to care, so you think walls are the ideal match to befriend. Or mirrors. Sometimes any pets you encounter with. Anything unlike human.

In fact, if you are like me, if you've lost all the faith and patience in humanity, you know even the walls are more faithful. At least they won't tell your secrets - or better, they won't keep them in mind. After an abundance of backstabbing and dishonesty, I am so done with everyone. I've been so done for a long time. I've started to live for nothing - breathe hatred if possible. I've grown a field of hatred seeds, and I know if I could sell them, I'd be so rich.

I wanted to believe that one day, by a miracle, someone enters and burns out all the seeds that I've grown - debunks my theories, makes me believe in humanity again. It was the beginning of my character development though, where I still carried a bit of hope, that venomous emotion within me.

Then, gone was all the hope, love that I happened to feel towards humans and life. Instead of suicide thoughts, I decided on hating everyone and making their lives miserable because where is the fun of leaving so soon?

I hate everyone. Almost.

I remember the epic speech I performed downstairs and curse at myself. Why couldn't I hold myself from spitting everything out? Now, she knows more than I want her to do.

Another reason to hate people. They make you lose your mind. They draw you crazy and you spit out things you never plan to. They dig your secrets. They make you hate them - they make your life miserable and they fuck your mind.

While thinking of those important topics, suddenly a knock cuts off my inner speech and make me angry again. I think I explained enough that I don't want to do anything with her. Why does she keep pushing? When I don't open the door, another knock follows. "What, Mum?" I shout, pissed off. "Wasn't the speech enough? Go away."

"Erm, Jack." It isn't Mum. It's Calvin. Shocked by his voice, I saunter to the door and open it slowly, unlocking. Seeing him in front of my door is quite surprising. Did Mum invite him in? "Mrs. Pierce said that you are in your room," he explains right before I ask. "Is everything okay?" He says as he examines my face, and probably notices that I'm flushed.