Blue Hour

Rollercoaster

Fortune favors the brave - Terence

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The morning came, for once not too early. My first class was after lunch, so I hadn't even put on an alarm. When I woke up after nine incredible hours of sleep, I felt like a new me.

No texts from Alex were on my phone but my mom had answered:

"Charlotte, so nice to read that you are well. I am ok, everything the usual and a lot of hassle at work. You know this one middle manager I told you about? He still works here and is so much trouble for all of us. I will tell you more, when you come here. I did show my colleagues your picture. Wow, my girl in NYC!"

God, I hated when she showed off. Annoying me with just a friendly sentence was something only my mom managed. That is why I hadn't sent a picture of the view before. 

Still this time I did not dread it as much as usually. Remembering how I had wanted to share my joy last night I pondered. Maybe it was the same for her? And even if not, I knew, she felt like she had so little to show in comparison to her colleagues.

Just working off the debt from the treatments for my dad, she had little left for herself. I always had been proud of her for managing. Prouder than I could have ever been for the shallow things she was jealous in her superficial colleagues: the umpteenth cruise here or the ugly beauty treatments there. Sprinkled with spoiling their children rotten. Not going straight overboard with our relation but sometime soon I should tell her how proud I was of her.

Oh, she had sent another text.

"I am looking forward to you coming home, too. Tell me, when you will be here, so I can make your favourite Lasagne. See you soon."

Now I felt bad, for being a tiny bit angry at her.

She wasn't a hugger or overly caring, true. She still would spend hours preparing and cooking my favorites. That is how she showed me she cared.

Hell, where did that mist in my eyes come from. Seemed I was still not off the emotion rollercoaster from last night.

Eagerly blinking my wet eyes away, I got up to get ready for the day. Pull yourself together Charlotte!

I would try to save some money to get her a present for Christmas and maybe I could get something small for her for Thanksgiving, too? No Bean Counter or any treats for me in the next weeks and it would be worth it. I already felt better with my decision.

The day passed by and although I had wondered, if after kissing something had changed between Alex and me... it didn't seem so. He did not text more or heaven behold even call.

Like hell, I wouldn't start it.

Just around lunchtime before my classes started, he sent me a Gif. A sleepy, adorable cat with tossed hair almost fell off a couch while waking up. Nice. But that was all I got the whole day.

When Bee arrived for our final evening shift, I did not even need to hide my glee anymore. It had been such a long and boring day.

By now I was even more nervous than gleeful to see Alex later. Had it meant anything to him? Realistically, with his looks he could easily get girls. Especially in NYC, where I had watched multiple times people hooking up in bars after MINUTES. As much as I liked the city, the dating life was gross. Everyone was really fucked up and disillusioned.

Would we ever kiss again? Just go back to training? What did I really want?

I saw Bee chatting to Vicky (one of the experienced trainers from the night shift) for ages while I collected all used towels from the Spa area. Lifting my eyebrow behind Vicky I gestured her to get going. Usually, Bee was the one in a hurry to get back to her mum. Always wondering and worrying what chaos her dementia burdened brain would create. Apparently not today.