01 | Dear Blaise, I love you

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❦ Octavio ❦ {music in the beginning is what I listened to when I wrote this chapter!}

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Octavio
{music in the beginning is what I listened to when I wrote this chapter!}

When do you know when you are undeniably in love with someone? When do you know that it's her smile that you would kill for? When do you know that it's her eyes that you would hate to see tears in? When do you know it's her heart that you would die to keep beating? When do you know it's her lipstick that you want smeared on your skin?

You'll know she's the one when you start writing fucken love letters to her name in hopes one day she would reply to one.

A total of 198 love letters are addressed to the woman I love. And the end of each of these letters is stamped with the three worded phrase and my name coated in yours forever. Because let's be honest, I was always hers to love and hate. I was only Blaise's.

I don't know if she ever gets these letters or if they get lost off of the staircase of her old house. I don't even know if she even loves me anymore or if she burns these words to fire if she even gets the chance to read them. But gosh even being hated by her would be better than being completely nothing. I live off of the fact that she reads each and every letter that I send her and I wonder if they would ever be enough for her to come back to me even if it is to spit I hate you in my face.

As I kneel down on the staircase to her old house, I cringe at the raindrops glittering the marble flooring knowing it would soak into the ink of the envelope. I rake my hand through my hair that is already soaking from the lack of umbrella and I sigh in frustration.

I have always left her letters the exact same time whatever the situation but the staircase of hers was never flooded with water like it is today. Before I can decide whether to leave the letter here or to bring it another time, the screeching of a car echoes from the far end of the empty road. I immediately drop the letter on the driest spot on the marble flooring before moving along the house into the shadows.

My heart raged in my chest as I tried to remain as quiet as possible. My mind played tricks on me as it tried to convince me that it could possibly be her. That it would be Blaise that would come out of the black SUV parked along the gates of her house. But, my heart didn't agree as it refused to admit that she would so easily come back into arms after I had so easily dismissed her.

As the door to the suv opened, a tall man with an umbrella stepped out. With his blonde hair gelled to the side and the tan coat on top of his white collared shirt, he easily looked like your typical office guy. I scrunched my eyes to analyze him better but he made my job easier as he moved past the gates of the house straight towards the staircase that I had been not too long ago.

He seemed to know what he was doing as he didn't stop to investigate the permeinter of the house or to make sure if it was being guarded or not. As I continued to watch him, the blonde head knelt down where I had placed the letter to Blaise before picking it up. He quickly pocketed the letter I wrote to her before walking back down the stairs towards the gates once again. Not stopping once to show any alternate motives.

Anger seeped through me as I finally figured out where all of the letters were disappearing to. She never even got them and here I was hoping that this was her way of saying that she still cared. Before I could realize what I was doing, I was in my car soaking wet and driving behind the black suv that god knew where it went.

Questions rambled in my head, the main one being why would some random blonde guy go as far as stealing loose mail from her doorstep. He seemed like he was doing a daily task off of his schedule as he knew exactly what to do.

The SUV stopped in front of an old mailing station that I knew was owned by an old lady from the last time I had mailed a parcel to one of my colleagues. Letting the blonde move inside the mailing station, I quickly killed the ignition of my car before following him inside.

My head connected the dots as I saw him smile at the young girl behind the counter that once had the old lady sitting and the way he grabbed another envelope to what seemed like an address. But, it wasn't the address that stuck out to me but the fact he was naming the letter to the same name I had lettered mine to. Blaise Inocenico printed in thick bold writing along with a scribble of an address.

He was mailing my letters to her. She was getting my letters. My heart leaped in panic as it finally realized that there was a way to find her after many months of finding dead ends. She had disappeared like she never existed and despite my heavy efforts to navigate her down, there was not even a trace of her left behind. She had made sure she had wiped herself off of the grid completely off of my sight. But, now her address was printed right in front of me. I could go to her.

Knowing that whoever the guy was, he knew Blaise and was close to her; I quickly put on a fake smile before walking towards his figure that was peeling a stamp to place in the corner of the second envelope that carried my letter.

I slowly pulled my phone out and moved right to him. The camera on my phone angled the envelope and as his green eyes met mine, the click of the camera was quick to do its job before he could even notice. I dropped my hand that carried my phone before pointing to the wall of mailing tape. Understanding dawned on him as he pulled off a box of the mailing tape and handed it to me with a smile before grabbing his letter and dropping it in the mailing box.

"Have a good day Stacey." He said before leaving the mailing station, not knowing he also left me the address to Blaise's house.

My hands shook as I pulled my phone out and opened to see the most recent picture I had and just like that the numbers and her street name mocked me. I got you Blaise.

_
Honestly, I just want to skip to the part where she slaps him or cusses him out so he knows how bad he messed things up but then I remember I am the author and I wrote his character. But anyways, I hope you guys are ready for them to reunite.

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J. Iris Grace

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