Ronald Mcdonald: The Truth

chapter 1

"Welcome to the circus" Ronald McDonald said with a grin. Ronald had retired from Mcdonalds after being kicked out of one of the chains in Baltimore. Afterward, he had tried many different things, including selling his own burgers and throwing them at passing cars. He had a short temper and when people rejected his disgusting burgers, he gave up on the food industry altogether. He was in a much better position now, for he was in the circus; HIS circus :)

This is the story of Ronald. It all started when he was just a small clown, in California. It was 1955, and Ronald, now around 200 years old, (yes, 200, not 20) was still a young clown with lots of trauma.

As a child, his parents abandoned him at the age of 6, and he had to fend for himself. A year later he was adopted by a circus in Russia, who took him in as their own. They cooked a dish of beef formed in the shape of a patty. It was their favorite meal and Ronald loved it so much, that at the age of 8, he began cooking it for himself. He was an excellent cook with potential. He lived a long happy life with the clowns up until a new restaurant in America was about to open. It was called Mcdonalds. The place specialized in burgers and they were looking for a mascot, specifically a clown. It was 1955 and clowns were very popular. Ronald said farewells to his adoptive Russian clown family and left for California!

He got a job as the Mcdonald's mascot in 1963 after begging and threatening them for 8 years straight. He was happy about his job and he got his own commercial and was introduced to the world for the first time. 6 years later, a new chain started in Ohio, called Wendy's, and the mascot was a fellow clown who had to pretend she was a human. Wendy was around the same age as Ronald and they became good friends fast. They would facetime all the time and other clown friends would joke and say they were related. Little did Ronald know that his mother was also Wendy's mother because she was like Eren's mom (so, a fucking whore). In 2016, he was kicked out, mostly because he was intense and scary to some people. Humans had been seeing creepy clown sightings and Mcdonalds gave up on poor Ronald. After that, he had nowhere to return, and he had dated many people (he's bi) and tried many different kinds of jobs, yet he felt empty inside. In December 2019, he went back to Russia and visited his family.