Touch Me Not (Manwhore Series #1)

Chapter Eleven

"So, what are your brothers' names?" Lily asked curiously. She hadn't been thrilled with the idea of spending all day alone with Nikoli trapped in a car, but the bribe of driving a Mach 1? Totally worth it.

"Kade is the oldest." Nikoli kept his focus on the road when he answered her. "Dimitri, Viktor, Connor, then me, and Mason is the youngest at twenty."

"Six boys?" Wow. "I bet your mama had her hands full."

"You've no idea. If one of us wasn't bleeding all over her floor, then we were fighting. She has this look that could make us feel both embarrassed and ashamed in a heartbeat."

"I think all mothers have that look." Her own mother certainly did. She'd used it when Lily announced her plans to move to Boston for college.

"How about you?" Nikoli asked. "Do you have any other brothers or sisters?"

Lily nodded. "Mom remarried when Laney and I were fourteen."

"You were twins?" Nikoli interrupted.

"Yeah. Identical."

They couldn't have been more different, though. Laney hated the racetrack, hated cars in general. She'd have rather stayed home and helped Mom with whatever. Lily grew up on the racetrack, Laney grew up shopping and learning to be the future prom queen. No matter how different they were, though, they were also the same. Laney loved Lily more than anything in the world, and Lily felt the same. She still felt empty inside, like a piece of her was missing without her twin. Sometimes it was a physical ache that hurt so badly, she had to lie down until it passed. It was just one more thing she lived with.

"So, back to your question. I have a little brother and sister. Twins again. They run in my mom's family. Mia and Mitchell."

"Does your fear apply to them too?" Nikoli asked softly.

Lily let out a sigh. She wished to God she could say no. They were babies and didn't understand why she wouldn't play with them or hold them or even kiss them. She loved them to death, but she couldn't physically show it.

"I'm guessing that's a yes?" At her nod, he said, "Well, we'll fix that soon enough, Lily Bells."

"Tell me about growing up in Russia." She needed to get off this line of questioning. It was making her nervous. Just talking about her psychosis made her neurotic sometimes. She wanted to enjoy the day, not slump into a depression.

"I'll tell you all about Russia if you do one thing for me." Nikoli's even and calm tone put Lily's defenses on red alert. He was up to something.

"What?" she asked suspiciously.

"Don't look at me like I've just asked you to commit felony murder. It's something simple."

"What?" she asked again, suspecting it was something worse than felony murder.

"I want you to touch me."

She stared at him. He kept his eyes on the road. He wanted her to touch him?

"You can poke my arm with your finger if you want," he offered, keeping his tone light.

"Why?"

"Because, Lily, you have to be comfortable with me..."

"And you think I'm going to get there by you forcing me to do something I don't want to do?" Her voice sounded shrill even to her, but she couldn't help it. She was already starting to panic just thinking about it.

"I'm not forcing you," he said calmly. "You want to hear about Russia, I want you to touch me. It's a fair trade. If you can't do it, then we'll talk about something else."