The Scars She Hides

Part 12 - Blue and Orange

HOLDEN

I don't know why, but the way she looked up at me in surprise made my heart sink. Had I really been that awful that us being friends was so shocking? Or was it whatever past she was hiding creeping into her present, causing doubt everywhere she looked?

We hadn't really started off in the typical way a friendship would, and we didn't do or talk about anything not related to school work... But I had felt the small ties of something beginning to form between us.

With her tentative trust, and small pieces of herself offered over the weeks, I had thought that my 'gentle' approach to the bird had been quiet but obvious.

Obviously not.

Her voice was quiet, not quite enough to be a whisper.. But still too quiet and small for my liking. I could see her fighting the urge to run. This wasn't like her, to be so confrontational about ... well anything. She was always skirting around conversations, not saying anything of real substance or opinion to avoid any unnecessary attention or judgement.

I decided, as I watched her nervous tremors grow and shake the papers in her hand, that this was a forced conversation.

Something had happened over the weekend that had backed her into a corner. Into a cage. And now the little bird was stuck in between fight or flight. I had seen her take flight from multiple situations, some that i had accidentally caused, and some that had been observed by accident. But I had never seen her fight, not like this.

I could feel my walls come down a bit, lowering for Charlotte to see that it was ok, that she didn't need to run. I tried to lighten the conversation by making a joke about her beloved coffee, anything to get that look of half crushed hope off of her face. Charlotte's lips lifted at the corners, just a fraction. It was the most of a smile I had ever seen from her.

I leaned forward, and let the mischief show in my eyes, like we were partners in crime. Like we were friends. I cocked an eyebrow at her, because I knew that it would likely make her mad. Something about them did apparently.

Charlotte let out a breathy laugh. It was light, barely any sound at all except the amused air escaping her lips.

It was nice. I immediately wanted to hear it again, and I knew that I would drop my walls as many times as it took if I could keep that little curve of her lips in place. I smiled back in encouragement, and in question. What had brought this sullen girl out of her hiding place to play?

She pulled her lips wider, into a true smile, for two whole breaths, and then relaxed back into that simple curve.

Her hand came up to point at my face. "You have dimples." She stated like it was going to satisfy my curiosity. It did the opposite, filling me with a hundred more questions. The first being, who was this Charlotte, and how do I keep her?

"You have teeth." I replied unsurley, keeping a playful tone to keep her talking. I don't think i'd heard her speak this much since we struck our initial deal. A real laugh came from her end of the table, and I felt a little pride warm my chest. I did that.

"I thought we were stating the obvious?" I asked her, amused.

"I've never seen your dimples before." she admitted. I tilted my head at her, signalling my confusion.

"So I showed you my dimples..." I pointed to my cheeks. "And you showed me your smile?"

She thought for a second, and then nodded. "A trade..." she said softly.

I laughed, equal parts amused and equal parts amazed. This wasn't Charlotte, it couldn't be.

"A secret. Friends trade secrets." not Charlotte added.