The Scars She Hides

Part 13 - Taking Turns

CHARLOTTE

We began to exchange a single truth every evening before he dropped me off at the dorm. Like an unwritten rule, we alternated who went first, and we always gave equally to what we got. 

The rules were unwritten and undiscussed, but we both knew once they were broken the game would be over.

Some were easy truths, trivial things like our favourite foods. Some were harder truths.

One evening Holden went first. He was watching the girls filter into the dorms quietly when he admitted that he was adopted. The next day I told him that my mother had passed away.

Holden had begun rewriting his final draft, spending most of his time typing away on his laptop instead of tinkering away with his toys. I used the free time to get ahead on my work for other classes. When that was all completed I laid my head down and listened to Holden type away.

Sleep continued to evade me, my room not feeling safe since I had found the note on my bed.

Holden's presence was comforting. With him sitting between me and the door I felt safe enough to close my eyes and drift in and out of a light sleep. Every time his keys stopped clicking I would open my eyes and check the door, and then check Holden.

I closed my eyes again slowly and readjusted my chin on my hand. What truth would I give Holden today? He told me about his childhood last night. Confessed that he spent more time running around picking up drugs for his mother than he did in school. Holden hadn't gone into detail, but he had admitted that his mother overdosed when he was 16, and he had been the one to find her. After that he had been put into foster care, and met his foster mom Gena.

I thought over his truth and weighed it against my secrets. I had few things that were equal to his confession, and I had already told him about my own mother. One truth sat heavy in my mind, always lurking in the dark corners waiting to surface at the most inconvenient times.

I wouldn't tell him about Henry.

I had finally made a friend, and I wasn't about to give them a reason to leave.

My scars itched under my heavy sweater. I shifted my arms in an attempt to sooth them. The fabric rubbing along the raised skin seemed to only irritate them more. I let out a heavy breath through my nose, and opened my eyes.

The clock read close to 4 in the afternoon. Some days we left around now, others we stayed late until 6. It depended on the amount of work Holden had to get done. I studied Holden, reading the frustration on his face and comparing that to the angry sound of his backspace bar.

We'd be here for a while longer.

I took a deep breath, and held it for a moment. There wasn't a truth I was willing to tell tonight, but there was a truth I was willing to show. I slowly breathed out, my decision made. 

My heart started to pound in my chest, but I slowly stood and stepped away from my table. Holden didn't look up from his laptop, engrossed in his work to notice my quiet movements. I ignored the harsh beating of my heart, and I walked through the isle of work tables, passing Holden, and to the door.

The door was already closed, courtesy of me earlier. I reached out and turned the lock, ensuring on one else would enter the room while I took my turn telling the truth.

At the click of the lock sliding into place, Holden stopped typing. He slowly turned his head to give me a questioning gaze. I didn't meet his eyes as I made my way to his table. Instead of taking the seat across from him like I did the first time we exchanged truths, I pulled the chair next to him out. He watched me the entire time, his eyes not once leaving my face as I slowly sat next to him.

I waited a few breaths, making sure that my voice was steady when I finally met his stare and said, "It's my turn."