AUL Angst Compilation

2. Player & Captain - Worthless, exhausted, rejected... broken.

Ohhhh jees I wrote too much! But I thought it would be short story. What will be with other stories in further, oh stars...
Swearing warning.
Art © Kureko/暮子 from LOFTER.

Last days Player has been through a lot of torture. The endless stream, the billow of defeats was marked by a new catastrophe: the ridicules from Veteran. From the best friend!
A few moments ago Player took a shot from him in the first few minutes when he was complaining of tiredness from endless loses. Expounding his soul, revealing the secret feelings... And literally laid down first for not suffering in vain from the torments. And in the recent match he had a hard time with groundless accusations coupled with insults and statements «How pathetic I'm with this sucker, oh...». Although he also was demonstrating unsporting behaviour, scolding and throwing pitiful hysterics, but it was nothing compared with Veteran's unfavourable insolence, support of the majority of his position and imminent exile.
However, the others also felt a bitter aftertaste after skirmish with him. Classic rows with TheGentleman, fending off Mr Cheese's defensive measures against his partner. Mr.Egg tried to shame him of his previous cannibalism incident and get justice, but failed to deal with the strength of his opponent's sarcasms. We even don't talk about Captain. It's never easy to talk to him. He's also come into contact with Gnome with strain, she's also familiar with cannibalism escapade.
In other words, the game has been spoiled, and it has amazingly jarred upon many of people. It's not that disaster with the fatness mod, but it's far from those soulful matches in the first days of Among Us.
For a nervous Player, all of this gave the stress of the maximum level. His soul from a brittle crystal had brutally tormented. It became a little nauseous, uncomfortable, scary to hang out with Veteran. Player had more picking up problems than living and seizing moments of pleasure with Vet's unpredictability.
Calm wasn't there since the occasional appearance of Novisor visions which were interrupted periodically by a life in which no one realises anything. There were also calls in other games. In moment of playing Slither.io Player was seriously worried by the same line «How pathetic I look together with this loser» from Veteran, although he forcefully suppressed his resentment and tolerated, understanding and accepting the burden falling on him in the soul. Fatness at all has become a powerful hurtful spit.
And the current scandal is everything now, the last straw.
It's time to stop.
As a sign of readiness, Player stretched his hands, rubbing his crossed fingers together, and approached determinately to the moody Veteran who spent time near the box with laptop on and was naturally avoided by everyone. Of course there was a lack of clarity in what Vet had forgotten there, but one thing was certain - the gloom inside his face.
Defeated, he felt no better than his long-time broken best friend. The map became an inferno for him, especially in the vicinity of his chief irritant. And the glance he had thrown at Player was filled with despondent negativity. It's an obvious state when you lose an argument at emergency meeting, plus you get extra harassment at the game itself.
"Dude..." Veteran turned to with a dry tone, trying to keep a bit of the usual intonation in his voice.
Player cowardly was paralysed, focusing on the seat next to him in an unwillingness to look at the interlocutor. He knew it isn't eternal, and Vet will wake up again with a new mood. But how frightening he sounded now: so dark and destructive. Like a thunderclap. Realising Player's weakness in this clumsy situation, Veteran sighed and left the map, as if he himself didn't want to swear with him after the last match.
But it could have ended with a swearing, after all, which was plenty. How many it was here... And it became more and more disgusting to exist with each other, or even to simply exist...
The bad feeling was accumulated inside Player, mirroring the pain in heart and sticking into lungs, that's why respiratory difficulties were seeping in a meek anticipation of pinching salt moisture under visor. It was hard to think straight and come to peace conclusion in this state.
It was impossible to become reconciled, therefore at the moment he had to reconcile himself with the infirmity.
And the only thing he needed now was to calm down, take his mind off the Veteran's reprehensible escapades. Recollect some nice things. This decision was prompted him by new match start, in which he was crewmate again. Under Captain's call «Everyone scatter!» remnants of the lobby were scattered on the sides, and he also went away to the right side, leaving Player to freeze in place.  Languishing in solitude. Languishing because of a broken friendship.
The weight also shifted to legs, so Player went to table and sat on bench. He was sitting there now, groaning and moaning. It was possible to torment himself in loneliness today, without additional pressure, which is easier. There was nothing to stop him from delving into his thoughts and stirring up the past.
But the sudden rumble of dead body report stunned his experience, and the bustling conversations began to take place one after another afresh. Everyone blamed everyone. Now Stoner thought Gnome is too suspicious, now she threw suspicion on Mr Egg. Player was also touched, but he was in the view of the people more pure than not because of inaction and staying on one spot in the map. Then discussions turned into a very illegible mush that was not very interesting to listen to. In the course of these a completely silent Poopyfarts96 was ejected. His filthy nature was confirmed in this match, and it became even safer to go into himself.
After discussing Player yet was politely asked to contribute at least with tasks he took into account, stayed to check his list and put the start from the simplest ones. He had enough to fix all wires before the jellylike feeling in his legs came back. No, he wasn't afraid of the impostors. He could even do better on tasks being a ghost. The perspective of friendship with Veteran still has been dreadful, although this individual himself was currently absent.
He followed his path to pull something other than wires. At the end of it he was met by Captain caring for plants. Well, he especially loved flowers. Player had another task there, but he couldn't help but visit the so-called second bestie, especially in such strenuous times of hardship and troubles. Here came the spontaneous thought that such an optimistic man could give him a comforting start and give him a good push to elevate his mood.
What a irony, nevertheless.
"Player! I see it isn't good day, but I hope evening will brighten a bit." Captain was cordial as usual.
But Player didn't greet him like this:
"Mmm... Yeah."
"Did you have suspect during this time? Or at least couple of completed tasks?"
Oh stars, why did he even care? The man who is most fuelled in terms of throwing out crewmates indiscriminately!
"Hey, what happened to being such supervisor? Is it a triumph that, for once, your spontaneity was able to help choose the right person?"
"Well, yes. I can't get what's wrong with it..." Captain was embarrassed, removing away from the spot.
"It's just not like you."
"As if you look like the old you... Player, really. I know Veteran ruined the day for all of us but you're out of your mind."
An immediate yell didn't keep waiting long:
"Captain, I wish I could be myself, but I'm just sick of everything. I'm. Sick of! Everything!!!"
The uncomfortable silence stood for few more seconds while Player was being attacked by an uncontrollable feverish shiver, and Captain was being paralyzed. Pause had changed a lot in the way they see each other at the moment.
"I feel like hate fucking poisons my life. Veteran... Is he normal at all?! What the fuck is wrong with him?! He scolds, he is hysterical, he mocks, but it's all my fault! All of me!" Player sobbed, barely controlling the rage inside his subconscious mind, "I give him signs of attention, I find him new games to play, and he is not enough. We have to go to old complexes! He complains about his fat, moans, pushes for pity, but if I tell him on the case, then all, I'm bad, I'm a disgusting asshole! Insulted him, debased!"
Captain was feelin' sour about it, but he kept grasping the information from politeness. The story wasn't going to stop:
"He isn't even ashamed to make black and cruel jokes, stinging me to the quick and go so far as I wonder if he's fucking crazy or... And if I taunt him a little bit, then all... It starts! «You fell in my eyes!», «How dare you so mock me?», «Am I a bad friend?»... Especially this.
How many he had been putting pressure on pity! And was jealous! Still can't let my girlfriend go, even though we've all been broken up for a long time! You still are used for constant pressure! And at the same time... You saw what else he did to me! Like, why, what did I do to him? Why is he so cruel? Why is he so aggressive?!"
'Man, he is completely choking...' Captain has no words. Just uncomfortable thoughts. And they are not far from the truth - Player barely breathes with every scream. His rage is absorbing and depressing his airways so much.
"Why did I deserve attitude to me like that? I'm already a fucking loser screwing up everything, I lose everything, and then they take my Veteran away from me and I have an impostor in his place... It's like I was born to suffer! To reap the fruits of my wretchedness like convict!!!"
At the last furious screech, Captain gave a reflex shudder and removed a few paces, gazing at the shrieks in his direction. A frightening sight to behold... Player's hysteria was broken by hoarse shortness of breath cutting through his lungs. Acidity started to feel in his throat, it unpleasantly was tickling. He had to pay for a fleeting anger, and at the same time felt pressure on the body and brain in particular, giving signals for even more suffering.
"How it's base and disgusting, Captain... What can I do with it?... How can I fix it?!"
The suffocating sensation in his brain space pleaded with Captain to condescend, but it didn't help him to deal with the weight that had been thrown over him. There was literally no clarity on what to do with it.
"I'm sorry, I have to go..." he finally turned to go away, depressed.
"So you're gonna leave me, too? Cap, but you're my bestie! Always what, and you're here," answered Player, stunned, "Why are you now turning your back on me when I really need help?!"
"So are you really serious about getting along with Veteran with the help of me and then gonna dump me again like trash?" Cap had been very cross, having heeded such statements.
"What? No, of course I just..."
"You had been rejecting me all these times just to cry and... Solve your problems through me now?!"
"I just want some understanding now! And I have no one else to get it from! You're my last hope..."
Player's pity and insignificance had made Captain so angry at the moment:
"I'm not going to be given into your whining. If you have problems with Veteran, solve them with fucking Veteran!"
Firmness and radical nature were the reason for Player to retreat a step, but he continued to wonder, numbing. The previously positive and cordial Cap had become terribly unrecognizable and even outrageously offensive for him.
"I... I can't even take step to him, what kind of trouble solution are you talking about?" driven into his own complexes, he squeaked.
"You were brave enough to refuse bingo, picnics and visit to my birthday. Even the return gift to my Sony Playstation 5 was my and also... Your loss" Captain hissed and twisted his lips in return, "and it was all my initiative and goodness that you had missed out by simplicity of your heart. Fee-ble-min-ded-ness. That's enough, pal, I wouldn't give even a dime for that..."
The loss drove Player to try all ways of getting his mercy by indulging:
"Cap, I know I was bitch but I promise... I promise to be a wonderful bestie with you from now on, but please help me!!!"
But Captain's will was impenetrable right now:
"So, you think you gonna get back my favour just like that? How long has it been since then... And how much of this has happened in general?! And I even didn't hear freaking «Sorry» for nothing!"
"I understand perfectly I screwed up, but could I have done otherwise then? The time was- Short because of college..."
"Where were such reasons before, when I organized all of this?! You were just silent then, like a fish, what could I extract from it? How could I take it? And yet you offered no alternatives."
The agonising silence hung between the two beans, and Player couldn't find a word to say. Deeply crossed Captain also brushed his chin with detachment and rubbed his visor, darting a gloomy glance into the void.
"I was afraid you would be hurt by the honesty. Yes, I'm coward, fearing to speak plainly..." declared Player with his head down.
"You freaking coward," Cap wrinkled back, no less growing gloom in soul, "how much I spent on you... both time and money... And blood."
"Please, I'm sorry, I really..."
"I won't help you with Veteran, don't ask."
"Got it..."
"I'm genuinely uncomfortable and disgusted with your disregard for me, and it have expressed not only in your past indifference, but in your present decision."
Captain's visor began to burn from the salt moisture, offence deeply embedded, ingrained and strengthened in his heart. He wasn't even upset, he would live with that nuisance. His own cretinism was also a bitter and hurtful experience, affecting the distress.
"And, you know, I was really close to starting to work on bugs" he turned to face Player because before that he had been completely half-turned away.
"And you made mistakes, you have finally realised that," interlocutor grouched mutely "And what did you have to offer?"
"Yes, I wanted to at first, but now it's irrelevant. Well, Dum and I were supposed to have dinner at cafe tonight, and our decision was to invite you. To strengthen bonds between all of us. To talk, have a good time. Now you're definitely not allowed. Disappointed us, you gross jerk."
"I didn't want to" groused Player, growling "as if I have nothing to do again."
"That's what I was planning to tell Dum," Captain shrugged his shoulders. "Okay, do your task, and I'm done with my flowers. Or we'll be closer to defeat at this rate."
Distancing himself, he left interlocutor in utter silence and crushing confusion. From above for a few seconds Player still watched the removal of Cap, but now completely lost him in sight.
Worthless, exhausted, rejected... Broken. Not only his legs have become jellylike, but also all body now.
However, he endured paresthesia with the experience of heartbreak to clean filter and then left the location in search of new tasks. On the way he crossed paths with Captain again...
But absolutely frozen outwardly and absolutely immobile already.
Text: 2593 words