Raised by her witch Grandmother deep in the forest, Skyler has lived a friendless life of isolation and magic. Her fortunes change when she accidentally binds herself to the powerful demon known as Rayne.
This former Prince of Hell is inexplicably...
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Rayne - Prince of Ruin
I raised a finger, and the whole hall fell silent. Hundreds of demons from every stratum of Hell bowed their heads and lowered their tails in respect to me.
This was my court, and I ruled with absolute power.
I reclined back on my throne and gave my herald, Illya, a nod to indicate that I was ready to begin this month's briefing. Illya cleared his throat and called forth Scuttlewort, Lord of Night Terrors.
The small gray incubus approached the throne, holding what appeared to be an iPhone in his claws.
"Your vileness," he began, "Our nightmare productivity has fallen twenty percent in last year alone. My work, and the work of others like me, is being hindered by a trend of magical murmuring that quells human anxiety and fear."
"Magical murmuring?" I echoed.
"It is called ASMR, Your Vileness. Humans can choose different sounds or scenarios to listen to. It ranges from basic sounds like hair brushing to complex self-care scenarios. For example, I listened to one where I was a horse being tended to by a gentle farmer. He brushed my mane, fed me apples and called me Buttercup."
"Is this really a thing?" I asked Illya.
Humans were odd little creatures. Lucifer had always warned me about their perversions, and nothing proved him right than the internet.
Illya shrugged and turned to Scuttlewort, who pointed at a video playing on their iPhone. A man dressed in overalls appeared on the screen, waving a red apple at the camera.
"Please, AirDrop me the link. I will review this in my private chambers later," I replied.
A year ago, I might have found the myopathic ramblings of the lower-level demons entertaining, but there was an apocalypse on the horizon that I was supposed to stop.
Things that were ordinarily entertaining were no longer fun.
I returned to my chambers, having dismissed Illya and settled myself into my armchair with a glass of whiskey. I pulled out my phone and played the horse ASMR video.
I found it hard to believe that millions of years of evolution had led up to this point where humans were listening to a man talk to them as if they were a horse.
I tapped the share button and sent it across to Lucifer.
He replied a few seconds later with LMAO emoji.
Unsurprisingly, he loved anything that highlighted the utter ridiculousness of God's favourite creation.
Although, it did make me wonder why He was so eager to save creation. Perhaps, he couldn't bear the thought of a new world where he could no longer torment humans as they were all dead.
