Shehnaaz headed down to the kitchen for breakfast three weeks later and found her husband already seated at the table, newspaper in hand. He'd already dressed Lily and had her little baby carrier placed on the table in front of him. Lily was asleep and Sidharth was so absorbed in his paper that he didn't notice her at first. It was Shakeela Khala's usual day off, so he'd fixed himself a bowl of cereal, toast and some coffee. Shehnaaz smiled at the sight of them, her heart overflowing with love for both of them.
"Good morning," Shehnaaz greeted cheerily, as she headed over to the breakfast nook. She dropped a kiss on the baby's cheek and then, after the briefest of hesitations, one on her husband's lean cheek. While Sidharth was a lot more affectionate these days, she still felt a certain reserve around him, not sure if she could touch and kiss him as freely as he did her. Shehnaaz knew she was being silly but she seemed unable to overcome her emotional barriers. Sidharth told her he loved her every day but she still couldn't quite bring herself to believe him. Shehnaaz often cynically caught herself wondering if he meant the words or merely said them because he thought they were what she wanted. Shehnaaz didn't understand herself, on the surface it looked like she had everything she'd ever wanted but she still didn't quite believe it was real.
"Good morning," Sidharth smiled up at her and put his newspaper aside as she got herself some cereal and sat down opposite him. He did that all the time now. She seemed to have his undivided attention: the business section was set aside, the television switched off, phone calls terminated and stock reports carelessly tossed away whenever she walked into a room.
Sidharth wanted to know how Shehnaaz was feeling, how her day was going, what her plans were... they talked all the time, they spent companionable evenings together and he was a hands-on father. They made love every night and he worshipped her body during those long, dark hours. They had a great life... so why couldn't she trust him?
She knew that her reserve was frustrating Sidharth... hell, it was frustrating her but Shehnaaz needed something more. She just didn't know what.
"I thought I'd let you have a bit of a lie in," Sidharth was saying, as he sipped his coffee. "Between Lily's and my demands last night, you didn't get much sleep." Shehnaaz blushed and averted her eyes to her cereal.
"Thank you," she mumbled. Her cellphone rang and she retrieved it from the kitchen counter where she had left it to charge the night before. A quick glance at the screen told her it was Humi.
"Hey," she greeted.
"Hey yourself Birthday Girl," her cousin greeted and Shehnaaz started. It was her birthday. She'd completely forgotten. "Adil and I are taking you and Lily out to lunch. Our treat. But we're doing some serious birthday shopping first."
"I'm not sure..."
"No arguments, cuz. I'm sure Sidharth will understand. He won't expect you to spend your birthday by yourself while he swans off to work... and he can have you this evening." Shehnaaz glanced over at Sidharth, who was playing peekaboo with a slightly groggy Lily. A helpless smile tugged at her lips as she watched him earnestly play with his daughter. Lily looked confused but at least she hadn't started wailing yet.
She refocused on her conversation with Humera, certain that Sidharth had no clue that it was her birthday and Shehnaaz wasn't about to inform him, not when she knew how angry this new Sidharth would be with himself for never bothering to discover that information.
"Uhm... okay, what time do you want to meet?" Shehnaaz and her cousin quickly worked out the logistics of their meeting and she hung up shortly after they'd finalized their plans.
"You are meeting Humera?" It was a question more than a statement, Sidharth had lifted Lily from her carrier and was cuddling her to his chest, while she suckled on one of his knuckles.
