"What the fuck is your problem?" I asked my sworn enemy.
"Have you lost your damn mind!" I scream at the top of my lungs. This bitch better answer me before I lose my shit.
"HELLOO!" I get closer this time. Now I'm directly in his face screaming a...
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~*~
After that day, Clara hasn't been the same. We have been going to therapy together, and even then she isn't the way she was. I knew I shouldn't have let her kill him... but I knew it is what she needed at the time.
She is an empty shell of what she once was. She hasn't been wanting to do much of anything, especially after she was finally given the opportunity to leave the assassin business. I thought she would be jumping up and down to get away from her hell, but... she just nodded her head and moved on.
There's been next to no love between us. She's been dead, and I've just been here. I shouldn't have ever let her do it. I should've just taken over and done it myself. I should've known...
My mind has been killing me ever since I saw the dead look in her eyes. For days she didn't eat nor drink. I just convinced her about a week ago to actually sleep, shower, etc. it was so hard, and I thank everything above me for helping me convince her.
She's been seeing her regular therapist, doctor, nutritionist, and I helped her get a councilor on the side for some extra help. We have all been putting in effort to get her back on track, but it's not working. Nothing we do is working. It's... tearing me apart.
I don't know how long I can hold on to her for. Holding her together is breaking me apart, not saying I would never do this for her, I definitely would; a thousand times over. But sometimes I need to take a break for myself, and I can feel it coming again.
She's been slowly getting worse, and I can't hold onto her anymore. I'm falling down a rabbit hole, and if I don't get out of it... I just might end up in the same place as Clara.
I look over at her sleeping body, softly leaning over to push her natural curls out of her face. She groaned softly while pushing her head deeper into the pillow, I laughed softly, trying my best to not wake her up. This is the first time she's been able to sleep this long in a very long time, so I am going to make sure it is the best sleep she has ever had in her life.
I leaned down toward the back of her neck, and I kissed the skin between her shoulder and chin softly. She moaned softly in her sleep, and I just reveled in the soft, smooth skin on my lips.
I could feel my mind running through all of the thoughts of what I could do to her right now, with consent of course, but I know it's not a good time. She's still healing, and I need to make sure everything is perfect before I even think about touching her so intimately.
I pull back, but was immediately shocked when she immediately awoke and gripped my arm in her hand, pulling me towards her body. She wrapped my arm around her waist, and I didn't know what to do. I just sat there like an idiot, frozen. She tugged on my arms multiple times, showing me she wanted me to get comfortable, so I did what she wanted and it was the best thing on earth.
