Frog Kisser

chapter one

Nine years later...

My mother had a theory to why I was so clumsy.

She said I was too busy having five thoughts at once to focus on not dropping the glass of water in my hands, or to notice how many more steps I needed to take to get down the stairs safely. It was her idea to keep first aid kits on both levels of the house and in each family members' car.

But how was I expected to function when my entire life was hurtling down a rollercoaster on a broken track aimed straight at the Atlantic Ocean where a kraken waited with its drooling maw open and ready to swallow my dumb ass whole where I'd be destined to melt inside the stomach acids?

How?

"Cal," Jeremy said as if it wasn't the first time. "You're frozen."

I blinked back into reality, finding Jeremy's face only a few inches away. Right. We had been making out. One of the world's greatest wastes of space, Calvin Keys had been kissing his very attractive, very warm boyfriend for a little while now and he had forgotten. One day they will do studies on me for being the biggest freak on the planet.

Plastering on a smile, I rested my hands on Jeremy's neck. Jeremy was like a swimsuit model from a magazine, sun kissed skin, dirty blonde hair, and an airbrushed complexion. He even had one of those chin dimples I had always assumed people had to pay for. Now his crystal blue eyes were squinted at me, questioning my sanity.

This look, I was accustomed to.

"I'm not frozen. I'm good," I lied. "I'm super good. Pucker up—"

"Hold on. Hold on. You forget who you're talking to. I'm your boyfriend. I've watched you stop eating a burger mid-chew because you couldn't stop thinking about whether or not there were pixies hiding inside your walls or if it was just faulty piping."

"Which was good! Those pixies didn't come up with a proper escape plan and I had to bust a hole through my wall to get them out. They nearly starved in there."

"Didn't you also hit a pipe?"

"That's the wrong detail to focus on. I'm regarded as a hero in the pixie community."

"Cal, what's wrong? Are you worried about your parents leaving?"

"Absolutely!" I might have said a little too enthusiastically, clinging onto an excuse I didn't even have to make up on my own. I glanced in the backseat where Jeremy's Familiar, Sunny was snoring slightly. Usually, Sunny was a full-grown Lion plucked right from Africa, but it was more convenient to stay in his lion cub form.

He was so cute, and squishing his little paw made me feel a smidge better.

For the next three months, my parents would be working at a Unicorn Sanctuary, helping one of the rarer flying unicorns stay comfortable with her pregnancy. She had taken a nasty fall and broke one of her back hoofs. Usually, that was a death sentence to a horse. As the world's most renowned Magical Veterinarians, the Key family were the first called to the scene.

No one but I knew this, and I only found out from walking by their bedroom door, but my parents had already tried to set up a meeting with the unicorn. Apparently, the unicorn hadn't heard of them, didn't care, and refused to let them near her. I didn't speak up. They'd never ask for my advice. Not that I was a well of knowledge. I was more like a knowledge kiddy pool or puddle. It still stung being I was studying the same field.

Getting left behind on these trips wasn't something new. It didn't shock me that I received no invitation to join them... but that didn't keep my heart from aching when I stepped into an empty house. From experience, I knew the deafening sound of quiet and that dinners tasted a little stale when eaten alone.