fine line, adam banks

REPAIRING A BROKEN HEART

the cold late october breeze brushes against my skin as we walk out the building. i mutter a small thank you to adam for opening the door for me. but that's all i could bring myself to say.

the tension is think and the silence is uncomfortable. i consider turning back and going back to my three loving best friends. 

"thank you rosie, for letting me talk to you."

"i have no reason not to, adam. you didn't nothing wrong.", i repeat for what feels like the one hundredth time.

"i did. i was with grace instead of you at the party."

"there is nothing wrong with that, i want to you to get a girlfriend! she seems to really like you."

the two of us find a bench a couple feet away from the path we were just on.

"i don't care if she likes me though. in fact, i could care less about her. and about what charlie said, i didn't hook up with her, much less kiss her. all he did was see us sitting together at the party, he jumped to conclusions."

"it's ok to like her, you don't need to deny it."

"i don't like her. i meant what i said to scooter last week, i only like her as a friend."

"i understand but why are you telling me this? i shouldn't have reacted like that. i don't know why i did. i guess i was just not used to you actually flirting with someone other then me. even if what you said to me was joke. i had no right to act like that. we aren't a thing and i just let my feelings get in the way of our forming friendship. i ruined everything."

"you didn't ruin anything. i'm not mad at you. i wanted to talk so i could apologize not the other way around rosie."

i chuckle at his response as the tension slows down to a stop.

"my flirting is not a joke to me at least. so, you had every right to react like that. i'm sorry i made you feel like this. that was never my intention.", he takes a deep breath, "eespeically this year. look, i've been hiding my feelings for a long while. i'm over that part of my life."

"you secretly hate me, don't you?", i taunt as a small smile peaks through his sorrow face.

"this wasn't the way i wanted to tell you. and the circumstances were not to my standards but if anything it made me realize that i don't want to lie or lose you.", my heart speeds up as he fiddles with the gold ring on his finger.

"quit blabbering and just tell me."

"i love you.", he spits out, "i always have. ever since i met you, i knew you were the one. love is so silly at such a young age and i denied for far too long. but, i faced my feelings. i loved you since the day you moved in and you laughed at me for tripping on the grass. or in third grade, when you pushed mcgill over for making fun of me. in sixth grade, when you yelled at me for being a ass to the ducks. or later that year, when you held me in your arms when i got moved to district five. you were there when i was selected for the goodwill games or when i got ranked at #1 for hockey at our age. hell, i still have the signs you made me when you were in california. you were there. you were there since the beginning. i couldn't last a day without thinking of you. everytime you were over at our house, i would find a way to come see you or just annoy you. i love you and i understand if you don't feel the same way."

my throat runs dry as the words get stuck in the middle. he loves me. adam banks loves me.

"say it again."

"what?"

"say it again. i want to hear it."

"i love you natalia roselind west, i love you and i will never stop."

my face breaks out into a smile and i can't help but reach my lips to his.

this is straight out one of the movies, ash and i watch when we're sick. did i forgive him way too easily? i don't give a fuck because i love him. ken was right there is a fine line between love and hate, and i crossed it with no regret.

"i love you too, adam. i'm sorry it took me so long to realize it."

"that's like music to my ears. i would rather hear you say that, then play hockey."

i roll my eyes, "oh, hockey god adam would rather be with me than play with the love of his life. i'm honored."

"there's my girl."

"will you go on a date with my this thursday?"

nodding my head, i crash my body into his. his arms wrap around my wait, holding me tight.

"aww!", i hear a familiar squeal.

"fucking finally. banksie finally got his balls back."

"julie gaffney!"

"what?"

i pull away from adam, giving him a big smile, "ten minutes is up already?"

"ash was bugging us to come get you. you both have some explaining to do."

my eyebrows furrow, adam looks at me with pity.

"she won't be angry, i promise. we both know ash, she would be happy to have you in the family.", he says with a quick wink.

"i want to be apart of the family!", connie gushes.

"you better not be this lovey dovey in advanced history, cause i will single handedly rip adam limb from limb."

"why me?", adam pracitally shrieks, "i've known you longer!"

"are you my wife? no, you're adam. suck it up."

pushing adam to the side, i give julie a big, wet kiss on the cheek.

"i'm happy for you, natty. i'm proud of you for finally ending your streak as a pussy and talking about your feelings, banksie."

"i'm just thankful i did."

"averman is going to be so sad, you are off the market.", i taunt, "he's gonna be so upset that i broke our single gals for life pact. oh lord, what am i gonna do? julie-"

"fuck no."