my tears ricochet

Chapter Forty

Daryl looked at the sunrise and suddenly ached with the desire to wake Ivy up and tell her that she was safe. The sky was burning with light, tangerine coloured with bits of bronze touching at the dissolving darkness. All night he had sat upright watching the fire burn itself to ash, refusing to shift even an inch while his daughter slept against his side.

Ivy slept so often like she was at war with the idea of sleep. Her body would brace itself for it, hands turning into fists until she woke up screaming and fighting at nothing and everything.

His back ached from sitting in one place for so long but Daryl wouldn't be the thing to ruin her sleep. Ivy spent most nights out in the yard refusing to sleep and it had been awful watching her shuffle about, squinting at the light and trying to force herself to stay away.

She was sleeping now, sleeping safe, sleeping without fighting.

Everyone had left in waves, yawning and stumbling in the darkness. Rick had been the last to go and his face looked like it was ready to crack from smiling. There was a vague memory of the man at the CDC laughing over the table with a bottle of wine being handed around, surrounded by his wife and son and clean from any blood marking his hands.

This Rick was a bleak shadow of the man from before.

Ivy's hand twitched in her lap and he looked down. The slight bit of light was enough to see the curve of her nose and eye lashes, the barely visible start to a scattering of freckles across her face. Daryl lifted his arm slightly from her shoulders so she wouldn't wake up feeling trapped and waited, hands shifting and face turning. "Where?" She asked, straightening up and rotating her head to work the stiffness out of her neck.

"You're okay," he said, using the moment to roll his own shoulders, his spine burning misery.

He heard the sound of boots on loose gravel. Rick had gotten into the habit of getting up with the sun to tend to the gardens before the heat killed ambition. Ivy was oblivious to it so he nudged her knee with his, jerking his chin towards the source. They were getting better at navigating the gaps that she couldn't hear and she was quick to turn around, settling only when she recognized Rick's distant shape coming towards them. "How long was I asleep?"

"Just for a bit. You should head back in, take a few more hours in."

Ivy shook her head but she looked mildly dazed, disoriented by the magical concept of a full night's rest. "No, I'm awake now."

"Nah. Go on. I'll come by before I leave." He shook his head when she tried arguing, pulling her off of the bench and pushing her in the direction of the tower. "Try for a little while."

If she was going to sleep without nightmares, Daryl would try to take advantage of it.

"You know, fatherhood looks good on you," Rick said in lieu of a greeting. He set down a watering can and stretched, facing the sun instead of the herd of walkers pushing against the fence. "Lori always said it, but I see it."

The words caught at Daryl's chest with their senseless validation. He didn't need anyone's approval but it was almost nice. Like he had met some bar of achievement that went beyond keeping a kid alive and fed.

"Carl comin' down?"

"Nah. He was up all night reading comics with a flashlight."

He hummed. "You want to come with us? Glenn has a whole plan."

The Big Spot had been calculated over weeks. They had hooked up a radio to car batteries to keep it playing, drawing the walkers from inside the fence away and into the distance. A place that big had the potential of stocking the prison for a lifetime of needs. They would be busy cleaning it for weeks if they were lucky.