Can't Be Without You | Jungkook

Part 4

**

It's hard to sleep knowing Jungkook is sleeping just outside, probably wincing in pain.

This is a usual occurrence. Some fights are quick and last barely a round or two, leaving him with only sore limbs and minor cuts on the face that he can easily treat himself. He knocks on your door, anyway, knowing that showing up alive is the only way he can assure you that he's indeed, not dead. Some fights, like tonight, are much more difficult to swallow.

You don't ask him to stop anymore. You've tried that before and it almost caused a wedge between the both of you, the fear of losing him again overtaking the more logical part of you that won't accept no for an answer. But you convince yourself it's better this way, that at least you know what he's doing, and that's always better than not knowing.

He's very stubborn after all. You wish he wasn't, but it's his stubbornness that made him go after you every single time in the past; it's this quality of his that never gave up on you when you were close to doing that to yourself.

You get out of bed and check up on him. You watch his steady breathing, mouth slightly parted, minimal movements as if there's still discomfort. Some of the cuts have blood almost bleeding out of their bandages; you'll clean those up in the morning, you tell yourself.

You refill the water and place painkillers for his next intake. Your eyes travel over his body, disappointment and hurt still bubbling within, but thankful there's a body there in the first place - alive and breathing. It hurts to think of a time he wasn't around, or a time he'd been beaten up like this with no one to help him.

After you left for college at 18, your parents having separated by then, Jungkook stayed behind to take a business course so he could be of use at his parents' restaurant. You'd kept in touch then, daily messages keeping you both in the loop, until such time when school and your respective part-time jobs were draining you as well.

He was midway through sophomore year when he took over the closing shift from his father one night, the only positive thing he took from the whole experience, actually, because it could've been him - it could've been his father who was beat up when a bunch of lowlifes forced open the door upon closing.

But it was Jungkook who'd gone 5 against 1, with the guys sporting steel rods, hitting everything they could see - the mirrors, windows, the equipment, the newly delivered ingredients in the kitchen; Jungkook's hands, too, if he didn't give up the key to the cash register. They tackled him on the ground for it, and he'd been too helpless to fight back.

They trashed the place, broke whatever they could, and Jungkook's parents' dreams in the process. It was enough for Jungkook to blame himself for years to come. The business was already going downhill and then that happened; the very structure that symbolized the Jeons' hard work desecrated, throwing them in a deeper rut.

Jungkook dropped out of school and took multiple part-time jobs in Busan, much to the dismay of his parents. Once the restaurant was fixed, he decided to leave for Seoul after a friend of his recommended a club he could work at. He decided to wing it once he got to the big city, at first finding a bed space to crash into, and then finding multiple blue-collared jobs to save up enough money to send to his parents to keep them afloat, as the restaurant couldn't easily bounce back.

With only a high school diploma under his belt, he had to rely on his physical strength to get jobs, until he'd settled on the store clerk position at the supermarket and as a server at the club where he still works. During those first few years, Jungkook never called nor picked up your calls.

You hadn't even known all this until you graduated college at 22, went home to visit your mother - the first time since you left - and dropped by the Jeons' in hopes of seeing your best friend. You were instead met with his parents' worried eyes and sobs when they realized you didn't know what had happened, much more that you haven't been in contact with their son for years. It took all of you not to fall apart at the news.