Next to Me (Triplets book 3)

Chapter 18

It had been over a year since Elyse had seen or heard from Sawyer, and she guessed that he had moved on with his life, but it wasn't that easy for Elyse. She pushed Sawyer away in her attempt to hold on to her life choices and remain independent. She had genuinely believed that giving up flying, what she felt defined her, would hurt more than giving up Sawyer. However, the horrible fact was that she no longer cared about what she was once so passionate about. Without Sawyer, everything was dull and pointless.

She had chosen poorly, but she was too stubborn to go to him and tell him that. He had never issued words of love or commitment. All he had asked her to do was follow him, and he had enough people following him. Elyse had needed to be needed, and the reality was Sawyer hadn't needed her, and if he had, he hadn't admitted it to her.

Bethany had kept her secret with regards to Sawyer, and Elyse had tried to downplay the entire affair as if it didn't really matter, but her sister knew better and had watched Elyse slowly become a shell of who she once was. It was as if her personality had been stripped away from her. Sawyer had taken a piece of her soul.

Elyse realized that her sister needed her to rebound, and she was trying, which was why she was at her sister's house on another date with one of her sister's co-workers, Joe. Elyse had been seeing Joe for about a month, and he was nice enough, but they didn't click. He didn't make her laugh or have a witty comeback when she told a joke. Most of the time, he looked at her as if she had lost her mind when she tried to tell a joke, and she definitely hadn't shown him her weird side.

After dinner, the men retired to the living room while Elyse and her sister finished cleaning the kitchen. Elyse didn't mind because it got her out of the torture of small talk with the men. Her sister's house was an open floor concept, so they could easily hear the television and the men's comments about what they were watching. Elyse and her sister shared a giggle when a tampon commercial came on, and both men pulled out their phones for distraction.

Elyse, who was only half tuned into the television show, froze when she heard, "Welcome to the show, brothers, Sullivan and Sawyer Richards!" The host's voice was exuberant, and Elyse glanced at the screen, noting that she was a pretty woman with perfect features and hair.

Elyse stopped breathing when she heard Sawyer's name. She had purposely avoided anything related to movies or Hollywood since he had left. It hurt too much to see him, but now her eyes were glued to the screen as Sawyer appeared, looking handsome in a suit. It was as if she was a drug addict falling off the wagon and back into addiction. It only took one hit.

"Elyse," her sister whispered, laying her hand over hers in sympathetic support, seeing her distress.

"It's fine. I'm fine." Elyse said as she cleared her throat and returned to scrubbing the counter while listening to the witty banter the men exchanged with the show's host. His voice, how she had missed the sound of it. When he laughed, she stopped scrubbing and crossed her arms, forcing herself to turn toward the television.

"I'll have them change the channel," Bethany said, but Elyse stopped her with a shake of her head. She had made this bed, and it was time to lay in it.

"But this movie isn't your only collaboration, is it? In fact, they're talking about an Oscar-winning performance for you, Sawyer. Let's watch," the host said as a snippet of the movie started showing on the massive 60-inch screen that her brother-in-law had. Elyse bit her lip and felt her heart stop as Gene appeared before her. This must have been the movie production for which he had lost all the weight. She was mesmerized, as were the other three people in the room, by the short preview. The movie was about a scientist who had discovered a cure for some little-known disease, only he contracted the disease in the process, and it killed him.

Elyse remembered his comment that he played one, and she couldn't contain the random outburst of laughter. It was either that or cry.

All three of them looked at her as she placed her hand over her mouth and cleared her throat. "Sorry, I just thought of something that happened at work."

"We should go see that. It looks good!" Joe called over his shoulder when the segment finally ended without turning around. If he had turned around, he would have seen Elyse looking like she was about to pass out.

"Sit down," her sister insisted, leading her to a stool at the bar.

Elyse followed her lead without taking her eyes off the screen.

"Now, back to your current film, which will be out this fall. There's a rumor that you changed actresses toward the end of the shoot. Is this true?" the host asked.

"Yes, we brought in Paloma Clark," Sullivan confirmed, and Elyse felt her fingers dig into her palms at the sound of Paloma's name.

"Paloma was great. She was the missing link that we needed to make the movie meet Sullivan's vision." Sawyer added, causing Elyse's pallor to change to firey red.

A photo of Paloma flashed on the screen. She was in costume for the movie and in deep discussion with Sullivan. "There have been rumors of wedding bells for years between you and Paloma. Is there anything to it?" the host asked Sullivan.

"Paloma is a dear friend," Sullivan said with a sincere smile, and Elyse couldn't help but wonder if the woman had turned her attention to Sawyer.

"And your mother, how is she doing after her boating accident?" The host looked very concerned by the question.

"She's one hundred percent. In fact, she goes back to work next week." Sawyer said, and Elyse couldn't help but wonder if he had thought of her when the host brought up his mother.

The interview returned once more to the current movie and its plot before a brief segment was shown. It was a dramatic love scene between Sawyer and Paloma, and Elyse closed her eyes. That had been the day she had been present at the filming. He had said he would think of her while he was kissing her. Had he really, and did he still?

A joke was made, tongue in cheek, that maybe Paloma had changed to Team Sawyer after the steamy love scene, everyone laughed, and the interview was ended, leaving Elyse feeling a little more hollow than when it had started. If others were wondering it also, maybe it was true.

Excusing herself, Elyse closed herself in her sister's half bath under the stairs and sat hard on the toilet, resting her head in her hands.

She wanted him back in her life desperately. He had indeed taken a piece of her with him when he had left, and it was the most important piece; her heart. Without it, nothing mattered, not flying or her career, nothing.

God had brought them together after the first time they had lost each other. Would he do it again? Was it too much to pray for since she was the one who had sent him away?

Elyse knew she loved him but didn't expect it to hurt so much.

*******

Sawyer had indeed thought of Elyse during the interview. He had thought of her before and after it too. She was in his every thought, every day. He had picked up the phone to call her too many times to count. What had happened? Where had it all gone wrong? If Elyse had truly wanted him, wouldn't she have found a way to make it work?

*******

If only they knew that they both held their phones in their hands at the same moment wanting to call the other one, but both were too stubborn and scared to make the call or send the text. All that was needed was an 'I miss you,' and their entire world would change.