SURVIVED HIM | 18+

EIGHT

EIGHT 

Lana Del Rey | Watercolor eyes

Large crowds are one of my worst enemies, it's the fear of not knowing who's around you, and something dangerous could happen. Social situations contain a  uneasy feeling that is beyond dreadful—you just want to sink into the ground. My bad habits of holding onto unwanted emotions I can't control, but then you look back into your life to realise you didn't have anyone to share them with.

     "My brothers are deranged psychopaths, they control everything that goes on in my life. " She spat out.

       "Try escaping a family that has government working to make sure they have their hands clean at all costs. Yes, I ran away and my mother helped me. The night Tommie was shot was the first time I saw them after years." We were all in silent tears. I didn't want to place blame on Irina for my current situation and a life being lost. There's a feeling knowing she played a role in this sick game.

    "Amina, I know we didn't speak to each other much. I just want to say you're a very nice girl for my brother. I sincerely want you to know I had nothing to do with —."

    "Are you insane! You have everything to do with this. He is your demented brother!" Amaya placed her hand on my shoulder attempting to calm me down.

     "If it's not clear already I'm in another country. He almost killed me. He fucking killed your friend!" I stormed back up the stairs, heading the girls call me back. I didn't know where I was heading but I had to get a breather.

Your a very nice girl for my brother ...

The whole family needs to be in the psych ward, I refused to believe that she didn't take part in me being kidnapped.

I did some wandering around until I found myself at the entrance of a home library, it had a cabin feel to it very cozy. I did some browsing, reading titles of some books, then right on time I broke down.

Prior to moving to New York, my dad fatally died upon knowing my plans for my future he was so proud. I remember dreaming of being the most cliche daddy's girl. Sadly enough, my father didn't give me enough time just for the two of us. Time to share or laugh, I was his Ami whenever duties didn't call and that was enough for me I made my peace with it.

The same year my mom moved back to brazil after dad's death, god knows what she's doing at the moment but I know she's safe. I had to watch a unhappy home from peeking around the wall.

She loved him sufficiently to keep him there for me even if it did secretly hurt her. We were the happiest family to outsiders and oddly enough in the presence of younger version of me.

"Amina are you alright sweetheart?" Amaya softly called out to me. I turned around seeing her and Stassie resting against the entrance.

I shrugged my shoulders, "Stassie, I-I know that she is your friend but I can't come to terms with how this all just suddenly happened like this."

Stassie approached me, placing her hands on my shoulders, "Your one of the most gentle hearted people I ever met excluding my own narcissistic family, you have my trust forever. I may be blind to what you and Amaya have to fucking endure but you are not alone anymore." She glanced back to Amaya sending a kind smile her way.

They both grabbed my hands pulling me towards the door, "Enough of giving people our tears, the chefs have prepared us brunch. Let's get drunk off mimosas."

  "Not you Amaya, your still breast feeding." We shared a giggle on our way out.

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     As moments past, us girls were just getting to know each other better, we might be all that we have for now.

     "So Amaya I don't now if Amina has shared that I'm sort of a party girl, and I think we should hit the club blow off some steam." Stassie brightly smiled at us.

     Just off instincts me and Amaya shared a worried look which made stassie smile begin to fade.

    "I- listen Stassie, that's —" Amaya barley got out, I noticed her hands began to tremble and just that quick she hid them under the table.

     I cut her off, "yes, we'll love to!" Amaya gave me a anxious look, before shutting her eyes for a while. I took her hands into mine sending her with a reassuring smile.

"I really can't Roscoe wouldn't let me leave his side let alone in a club full of men. I mean Amina you know what their possessive behavior is like."

"Yes Amaya I'm aware, but I think a temporary distraction will help—,"

     Amaya frustratedly bursts, "Don't you get it! I've been stuck under this roof for the past few years. I learned to live my life in peace, I'm sorry but I can't have you mess that up for me." Her tone feel back soft before she made a quick exit out the kitchen.

    My eyes shifted to Stassie, already I knew she's  confused about Amaya's sudden outburst. Stassie obviously knows about how powerful the Gusev family are, but she's still in the dark about the mental and physical pain Roscoe has caused her.

     I have yet to share my hurtful experiences about Reign to Stassie, and honestly I don't think I ever will. It's not about trust for me, it's something deeper then that.

     "She's ah— She's just worried, what new mother wants to leave their new born baby in the care of someone else in their early stages right?" I nervously chuckled.

     Judging by how extra blush I must look now, Stassie saw directly through my facade but ignored it anyway.

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