𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐒 | remus lupin

new year, new me

SCARS
rj.lupin

/ nineteen / -new year, new me

1977

JANUARY 1ST OF 1977

I laid in my bed, rotting in guilt for some reason. I stared blankly at my ceiling—feeling more shit than always.

My roommates are in class right now. I couldn't bear to go to since I can barely get up as I think.

I heard a faint knock on my door but I didn't say "Come in"

The door handle started to twist open so I assume it was one of my roommates. The door opened—revealing my whole fucking friend group.

I made eye contact with my Remus but I quickly looked away in embarrassment.
I couldn't say a word, knowing that If I did, I would start crying.

_____

A few hours before.

Remus recalled punching the guy who touched his girlfriend inappropriately.
But after that, he doesn't understand anything else.

He just remembered Conrad standing up in embarrassment and hurriedly leaving the party.

His friends caught him staring blankly at the ground, his hands intertwined together—with his back hunched as he sat on a wooden sofa.

The marauders were fuming when they found out about Conrad. They couldn't do anything but imagine him getting beat up by them.

Or maybe they can.

_____

I deeply sighed before turning to face them, not caring on how I look for the first time. "We'll leave you two be" Lily announced, her mouth quivering.

My head was resting on my bed banister in silence. I watch Remus climbed to my bed, sitting next to me.

"I'm sorry that I distanced myself from you at the party" Remus spoke up, breaking the silence.

I didn't reply, I just couldn't.

"Just so you know, I'm here for you my love if you need me. You're not alone. Lily, Mary, and Marlene are with you always and so are Sirius, Peter, and James" Remus added.

I was thankful with his words to be honest—I wanted to cry but I felt like my eyes were dried out from last night.

I wanted to speak but I felt like I was forced to be silent even though the charm wore out hours and hours and hours ago.

I smiled at my boyfriend, showing him that I understand. I stood up from my bed but then I fell.

"Goodness" I heard Remus expressed, rushing to help me stand. "Have you eaten anything?" I shook my head 'no' as I properly walked over to my dresser, grabbing a quill and a paper.

I wrote the words. I need some alone time right now. Please come back tomorrow if you want to and bring me food

I gave the paper to Remus—I studied his face as he read the note but my brains too tired to even think at this point. Remus looked at me, tugging his lips into a faint smile before muttering "Bye, I love you" As he left.