𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐒 | remus lupin

the morning of

SCARS
rj.lupin

/ thirty / - the morning of

1980

VICTORIA RUBBED HER EYES OPEN

only to lock eyes with a doctor in front of her. "Good morning, baby Astrid's getting checked out by the nurse. But she's fine according to her charts" said the Dr. Mavis. "Is there someone we should call? The father? Your family?" The questions bombarded Victoria's mind. She was confused, a few minutes to her crying —she became a mother.

"Oh-uhm, no—" She tried to answer but someone interrupted her. A knock on the door. "There's someone here to see you" said Dr. Mavis. Victoria's eyebrows furrowed because of confusion curiosity. There revealed the man who loved her, who helped her during her tough times—but it was also the man who left her during tough times. The one who once cleaned her scars is now the reason why it once opened again.

Victoria was puzzled—she was confused. "How did you find me?" her voice sounded firm. Remus looked at her with glossy eyes. "I'll leave you two alone" the doctor stated before leaving. Leaving the two some privacy. "I went to your house for an apology" Remus' voice trailed as he sat down on the hospital bed near her feet.

"Minny told me what happend and I apparated" he added, lowering his head in dismay. "Why didn't you tell me? that you were not feeling well?" Remus asked, keeping a safe distance between the two of them. "You were pushing me away" said Victoria sternly— turning her face away from Remus' gaze.

Remus couldn't reply. "Plus there's nothing wrong with me" A knock on the door interrupted them. "Good morning mama!" A kind nurse entered their room. "Mama?" whispered Remus to himself confused. He looked at the direction where the voice was coming from and his eyes met a baby.

"Astrid! Oh my heart!" Victoria was distracted from anything that was happening as her attention was only focused on her daughter. "That's your child? Is that mine?" askes Remus, stammering. "Yes definitely, are you mad?" chuckled Victoria as she grabbed her baby. 

Remus now looked at the mother of his child, but now he couldn't say that he was his girlfriend or even fiance. "I'm deeply sorry Victoria. I am sorry for leaving you and hurting you during those tough times. I was just hurting aswell and didn't want to be a burden to you" Remus explained with tears forming in his eyes. Victoria remained silent but it doesn't mean that she wasn't listening. "Recently my transformation goes harshly and violently and I know that it is best if I end it with you. I didn't want you to get harmed by me" Remus added.

"So the first thing you thought about was to leave me with no explanation?" queetioned Victoria, her index finger trailing her daughter's face. Remus felt a wave of guilt. And he felt that he deserved every single bit of it. "Indeed. That was the first thing I thought of" Remus gulped silently as he felt that his throat was dry. "When you talked about having a child—I was scared that it will have the same condition. I do not want to put a child through that, especially your child my love" His head bowed down.

Victoria felt tears streaming down her face all of the sudden. "I didn't know that, but you should have given me a proper explanation so I didn't get to spend months crying my heart out" Victoria's voice hitched. She still couldn't look at Remus since she was looking at him right now. She was looking at Astrid who got his eyes, lips, and smile.

"I want to be a part of her life, Vicky" said Remus softly. "I know—but it doesn't mean that we are going back to what we were before" Victoria smiled softly. "I don't want to give up on us but I need time, you need time." she added. Remus responded with a nod, understanding her reason. Yet he thought that what if he didn't let his mind eat him alive, would this happen?

But it already happened so all there's left to do was to make it alright.

"Here" Victoria grunted while sitting up, handing Astrid to Remus. He was hesitant at first. "I do not know what to do" Remus stammered. "Me too, still I am determined since I am now a mother" chuckled Victoria. Remus felt warmth as he met eyes with his daughter. It felt like every ounce of his problem got off his shoulders.

"Astrid Celeste Lupin" Victoria said her name once again, now replacing her last name into Lupin. "That's a beautiful name" Remus said with tears forming in his eyes—but it was not caused by pain. It was caused by the beautiful creation that he was holding im his arms.

"Why did you decide to give birth into a muggle hospital?" asked Remus curiously. "I do not want to give birth to my child in that economy" replied Victoria, referring to the Wizarding world's current state. "It is so dangerous, I do not want to have my daughter take her first and last breath in a span of a minute" she added.

"Would you mind if I stay at your place? I want to make sure that my child and the mother of my child is safe especially during the war" asked Remus, removing his gaze from his daughter.
"It's fine, I am sure I would need help with this little one" smiled Victoria.

______________

There was a knock at the door. It is now 9 o'clock in the evening. Remus was sat on a chair while reading a book he got from the library to get himself distracted as he looks over Victoria and Astrid resting.  The door opened and revealed a doctor. It was the doctor from earlier. "Good evening sir, I would like to inform you that Victoria would be discharge within two days. We just need to keep her blood pressure monitored—no worries this is just normal procedure that we do. Your wife is very much healthy as well as your baby girl. Congratualtions!" Dr. Mavis explained.

Remus' heart skipped a beat when he heard the word 'wife'. He threw away all the years they had spent together. Now this is the chance he has to make it all right.

A day had passed. Victoria's eyes were blurry but she met with a familiar face. "Lily!" she exclaimed with joy as she hugged her. Yet she felt emptiness when she knew that Marlene was nowhere to be found, since she's dead.
"Astrid Celeste Lupin" James read the name sticked to the crib that Astrid was placed in. "I got the grub!" Exclaimed Sirius as he entered the room. Everyone sushed him, including Willow. Due to his loud voice he might have woken Astrid up. "I just got her to fall asleep" groaned Remus.

"Wow! You look so different" Victoria stated as she analyzed everyone's outfit. "You look like muggle blokes!" she giggled. "Who says we're not?" joked Sirius. "Where is Peter?" asked Victoria, noticing there's someone missing from the marauders. "We couldn't reach him"