Snapped

Chapter 5: Christmas Shenanigans

Harry spent his first Christmas hols with Sirius, singing carols and eating mince pies, while plying Sirius with mulled wine. Drunk Sirius was the funniest thing he'd ever seen. He kept shifting into Padfoot as he fell asleep, and Sirius could barely coordinate two legs, let alone Padfoot's four. Harry would douse him with water, and Padfoot would chase him around their cottage, crashing into walls and at one point running straight into a pane of glass he hadn't realised was there. As he fell back he shifted back into Sirius with a groan.

"My nose!" he cried, groping around for his wand. Harry had just kicked it under a sofa when there was a knock at the door. "Moony!" Sirius said, jumping up and then tripping over his own feet. Harry smirked, and opened the door. He recognised Remus Lupin from photographs, although he looked older and wearier.

"Hello. I'm Harry Potter," Harry said.

Remus smiled. "Remus Lupin. Call me Remus, or Moony, as I'm sure Sirius has told you to. It's wonderful to see you again after all this time."

"Moony!" Sirius groaned. Harry beckoned him in.

"You're just in time for Christmas dinner. Mimsy's setting the table."

"You're evil!" Sirius said. "Harry, where's my wand!"

Harry grinned. "How would I know?" he asked innocently.

"Harry!" Sirius yelled. Harry ignored him. He led Remus past the lounge and up the stairs.

"Sirius decorated for you..." The room they'd allocated was covered with reds and golds. Remus chuckled.

"It looks wonderful," he said. "Let's go find Sirius, shall we?" He placed down a briefcase, and they found Sirius lying on the floor, whinging about his bloody nose.

"This is all Harry's fault!" Sirius cried. Remus frowned.

"Sirius!" he admonished. "You can't blame your twelve year old godson when it's you that's been drinking too much." Harry smirked at Sirius from behind Remus' back while Remus fixed Sirius up. Sirius narrowed his eyes.

"I can if he's laced my mulled wine with fire whiskey. I know you did it.," he hissed. Harry blinked, his green eyes innocent and wide.

"What's firewhiskey?" he asked.

Remus flicked Sirius on the nose. "Behave."

They sat around the table, upon which sat a feast. It smelt delicious.

"Crackers!" Sirius declared. Sirius and Remus held one, and Harry offered his to Mimsy, who squeaked in delight.

BANG. Harry pulled his with Mimsy and the usual fireworks appeared. He gave her the crown, and placed the chocolate frog beside him. They exchanged a sly glance.

BANG. Sirius' cracker was pulled, and red and green glitter exploded over him and Remus. They both spluttered. He turned to face them. Sirius wiped glitter away from his eyes, before turning to glare at Harry.

"Was it supposed to do that?" Harry asked guilelessly. Every inch of them was covered. They shimmered as the moved. Sirius shook his head like a dog, and only managed to shake more glitter onto Remus.

"Sirius! I'm going to kill you!" Remus said.

"It wasn't me! It was Harry!"

"Don't blame your innocent godson!" Remus hissed. Harry kept a straight face, and exchanged a wink with Mimsy.

"Honestly Sirius I'm so disappointed in you," Harry said, shaking his head. He bit his lip to keep himself from laughing.

"Scourgify," Remus muttered, and the glitter poofed! and multiplied.

"Evanesco," Sirius said, and all of his glitter turned pink. Harry couldn't help it. He snorted, then spluttered with laughter.

"Merlin your faces," he chuckled. Both adults turned to face him.

"Harry?" Remus said curiously. Suspicion crept into his eyes.

"Harry," Sirius said.

Harry grinned. "Mimsy?"

The house elf clicked her fingers and the glitter vanished. He held up his hand and she high fived him.

"Oh Merlin, you've corrupted the elf," Sirius groaned, while Remus looked resigned.

"There's two of them," he muttered.

"Happy Christmas!" Harry said in delight. They proceeded to have a Christmas even better than Harry could have imagined.

Back at school Harry happened upon a very curious diary. It absorbed ink and wrote back to the author, and Harry had brushed off a pesky compulsion to continue writing, and never let it go. He remembered distinctly something that Arthur Weasley had said. 'Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain.' And the diary was certainly suspicious. He packaged it up, and sent it off to Sirius with a note, and thought nothing of it. So he was rather surprised by the emphatic and slightly deranged reply he received.

A red letter hovered in the air before him.

"A howler!" Ron said, almost in delight. "Better open it, or else it'll explode!" Harry raised a brow, and opened it with the tip of his wand. He still remembered Mrs Weasley's scolding.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER." Sirius' voice boomed around the hall, which subsequently fell silent. "WHERE DID YOU FIND THAT ITEM? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DANGEROUS IT WAS? REPLY IMMEDIATELY, IMMEDIATELY, DO YOU HEAR ME, AND TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT IT!" Harry blinked in surprise.

"TELL NOBODY!" He rather felt writing a howler with that directive was something of an oxymoron.

"AND TO THOSE OF YOU BUGGERS WHO ARE LISTENING IN -PPHHHHHH." Sirius had blown a long and loud raspberry. Harry bit back a giggle. "Love you Pronglet." And the letter disintegrated. Harry reckoned he could still hear echoes of it bouncing around in his head.

"So..." he said. "About those Cannons." Ron grinned. Hermione glared at him with disapproval.

"I reckon they've got a chance this season!" Rom exclaimed, utterly oblivious to the silence.

"I agree," Harry lied, and jump to his feet. "I just remembered that I need to... urm... one sec." Harry sprinted out the hall, racing toward the Owlery. What on earth had he found?

--------------

"What do you suppose that was about?" Minerva asked, infringing upon the silence that surrounded his corner of the staff room.

"Nothing good," Severus muttered as he marked the fifth years' homework. 'Is there anything other than air inside your head, Johnson?' he scrawled in blood red ink.

"That's a wee bit harsh." Minerva commented, having read over his shoulder. He set down the papers and narrowed his eyes at her.

"What do you want?" he growled.

"For you to come with me when I go to confront Sirius Black about his rather curious howler to young Mr Potter," she replied calmly. Severus groaned, pinching the bridge of his snose.

"Why me?" he mumbled, then louder, "No! Absolutely not. I'll go nowhere near that mutt. I want nothing to do with him."

"Aren't you at all intrigued?"

He crossed his arms. "Irrelevant."

Minerva cocked a brow, then smirked.

"Ding," she said. Severus sighed, very loudly, in an attempt to get his frustration across to her. Her smile only grew wider, like that of the Cheshire cat.

"Come along now," she said, as if she was corralling a child. "I'm sure Lily would be interested in what 'dangerous item' her son had happened across." Severus glared at her, before snarling and getting to his feet.

"Fine! As it seems to be the only way I can get you to shut up and go away," he hissed, and stalked off to get his outer robe. He chose to ignore Minerva's stifled snort of laughter.