The Life of Gaia

CHAPTER 7: Lovely Little Bird

I didn't know Zantas could fly, though I wasn't surprised when, after discovering the identity of the makers of that damned red orb, he pulled me up and darted off along the horizon. I knew almost nothing about him at the time, and especially as I was being led through the cold forest air, I had other concerns. 

How he could be so sure of himself, I never understood, while he kept his gaze fixed on a point in the distance as if he already knew where he was going. He left a white trail behind us, and my hair moved like sea waves. Soon we lost sight of the forest and walked for a distance where huge mountains rose conically toward the black stars in the sky.

°Gaia°, he said. I looked at him.

"Yes?"

°There's something you need to tell me. I saw it.° I lowered my gaze and saw a jumble of trees and rocks flowing below me: suddenly my mind was lost. °You can talk about it, if you want.° It seemed that the time had come to face the consequences of my behavior. For some reason, I'd thought that by being aloof I'd get an apology without having to go through the "moving dialogue" stage...maybe I was just afraid I was wrong. I decided that I had to deal with this once and for all willy-nilly.

"Zantas, you weren't there when I needed you, the bikers attacked the hospital and you disappeared. You didn't have to do that, you had to stay there with me," I said with my voice trembling with nervousness and keeping my gaze away.

° Why should I do that?° he asked. It was clear: he was ready for that conversation, he had observed my attitude and had chosen the right moment. But that question didn't make any sense.

"Seriously? I hope you're joking," I replied vaguely.

°I'm not kidding, and you didn't answer my question. Please don't get around it. Tell me what you have to say.° I remained silent. °Come on, Gaia.°

"Okay, okay, I'll tell you," I snapped, "but please understand that it won't be easy to explain. Listen to me, because I'm tired of this game."

°Me too.° So I explained everything.

"I am nobody. At some point I was born and someone told me my name was Gaia. Then I died, and they repeated the same thing to me in other words. I have no memories but I know things, I have a body that isn't a body and that isn't even mine, I don't know who you are or why I'm here. You explained a page of the book to me, and you don't want to tell me all the rest. Why? What am I fighting? It's like I know there's a meaning behind all this without being able to see it. Imagine being in my place, with a head full of doubts and empty of those things that should be there, and seeing that the only person who is close to you, who is responsible for everything you are feeling and for where you are, leaves you. It disappears and ignores it! If you are not my guide, what are you? Will you tell me, for once? Will you answer my questions and stay with me?"

We had just passed the mountainous landscape and moved onto the coast, with sand shooting out from the white sky and clusters of dunes that looked like the humps of an enormous camel. I had a lump in my throat, ran out of words and threw it all out: now I was waiting for his answer. Zantas seemed to remain impassive from the outside, but I felt his vibrations jolt and slow their pace.

°I didn't mean to make you feel that way. Not knowing all the whys and not having the full picture spurs you to look for the missing pieces. If I had told you everything, now we would not be here, we would have speeded up times and a disaster would have happened. You have to accept that this is the way it is with my promise that one day you will give all the answers yourself. Our journey is still long, trust the time.° I was speechless. °And as for leaving you alone...forgive me. I believed, and I was right to believe, that you would be able to get away with it anyway. I wanted to let you see how skilled you can be in dealing with the unexpected, but next time if you want I will stay by your side. Tell me: haven't you managed to beat those motorcyclists?°