Chapter Thirteen

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        It would have been a lie to say Rosalie wasn't disappointed that Gabriel had stayed behind

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It would have been a lie to say Rosalie wasn't disappointed that Gabriel had stayed behind. She hated every step she took when it was time to leave, hated getting inside the now cramped carriage, but most of all she hated watching him fade into the distance as they left. She knew Gideon echoed the sentiment, she could see it on his face; could see how much it pained him to leave his younger brother. But he had no choice, he had renounced his father and was no longer welcome in his own home.
Charlotte spent most of the drive home trying to talk to Gideon, but he didn't utter a single word. She told him that Gabriel didn't understand yet, but that he would likely come around. But Rosalie knew better than to believe that, as did Gideon. His brother was very stubborn and set in his ways. It would take nothing short of a miracle to change his mind about his father. Rosalie had debated dragging him into the carriage when they left, but she knew it would only make him hate her. And that couldn't happen because she couldn't imagine living in a world where they weren't friends. Gabriel was the only person she had befriended all on her own. He wasn't someone she lived with and therefore became friends out of convenience. He was someone she had chosen to befriend, and that meant something to her.

The rain stopped shortly before the carriage stopped outside of the Institute. As everyone went their separate ways, Rosalie could still hear Charlotte prattling on to Gideon- likely telling him that this could be his home for as long as he liked. There was no shortage of rooms for him to choose from, Rosalie knew of at least a dozen which sat empty.
"Rose!" Will called after her as she ascended the stairs that would take her to her room. Something about the Lightwood house had left her feeling dirty and in need of a bath. Perhaps it was the fact she had actually seen a real case of demon pox. Or perhaps it was simply the fact she had betrayed her friend. Will called out to her again, but she kept moving- eager to have a moment alone.
Twisting the door handle, she slipped into her room. The door had nearly snicked shut when Will burst through, causing the door to bang noisily against the wall. "What on Earth is wrong with you?!" she hissed, cringing away from the loud sound. It wasn't often that such things bothered her, but sometimes they would bring back the horrid memories of the Dark house. She didn't quite understand why certain noises made her feel that way, but they did.
Will, noticing the way she tensed up, eased the door shut. There was a wildness unlike anything she had ever seen in his eyes, he appeared half mad as he took a step toward her. He took another step, closing the distance between them, and swiftly pulled her into him.
"Will what has gotten into you?" Rosalie asked, placing the back of her hand against his forehead. "Are you ill-"
Will just smiled and dipped his head, bringing his mouth to hers. Rosalie dropped her hand, utterly shocked. He truly must be feeling ill, she decided as his fingers brushed through her thick curls.
It took every ounce of Rosalie's strength to push him back. "Why?" she croaked out. Staggering back a step, her body collided with the pillar of her bed. "Why did you do that?"
"Is it not obvious?" Will asked, his brows flitting upward in genuine question.
For a moment, she just stared at him- utterly speechless. This was just another game to him and she knew it. Everything was a game to him, but she would no longer allow herself to be a pawn in them. She had made that promise to herself many times, and she had broken that promise many times. But not anymore. "Leave."
"W-what?" Will's eyes were filled with hurt and what appeared to be disbelief.
"Leave." she repeated slowly.
"Rose, you have to listen to me." Will started, taking a slight step toward her. "I know what you must think of me- but things are different now."
"Listen to you?" she nearly laughed. "Will, I have no reason to listen to you spew your lies. You have made a fool of me from the moment we met, but I'll be damned if I allow it to continue."
"I had to do those things Rose!" his words were quick, as if he were trying to get them all out before she kicked him out. "I had to make you hate me, I thought it was the only way to keep you safe."
Rosalie's jaw tightened as she took a seat on the edge of her bed. "Why?" she asked. She owed him nothing, she had no reason to listen to a single word coming from his mouth. She would listen to what he had to say, but she would do it for herself.
Will explained in full detail. He told her about the demon who had cursed him, proclaiming that all who loved him would die. He explained how he had spent years trying to find the demon to remove the curse but had utterly failed to do so until very recently. He had only been a child when the demon had cursed him, so he couldn't have known it was a lie; he couldn't have known his sister died because the demon stung her. It wasn't because she loved him. He had spent years pushing people away all because of a lie. Will dropped to his knees before her, his eyes wary. "I tried to stay away from you. I-I tried to keep you at an arm's length when I realized I didn't have the power to stay away."
"You spurned and humiliated me because of your own selfishness." there were no emotions behind her words.
"I know. I know it was wrong of me and you will never know how much I hated each foul thing I said to you."
A sad smile passed over Rosalie's face. "You should have released me a long time ago. You should have found a way to leave me alone instead of torturing me for as long as you have-"
"I couldn't!"
"Why?" she asked for what felt like the millionth time. "You say you hated being cruel toward me, yet you continued to be at each and every opportunity!"
"Because I love you!" Will bellowed, raking his hands down his face in frustration. "By the Angel, Rose! Are you truly that oblivious?"
She said nothing. Truthfully, she didn't know what to say. Whether or not she believed him was yet to be decided. The desperation in his voice made her want to believe him, but that also meant opening herself up the potentially being hurt yet again.
"I have loved you from the very moment I laid eyes on you. I prayed it would go away in time, but the more I got to know you..." Will placed his trembling hand atop hers and squeezed her hand lightly. His skin was rough against her own, sending a wave of goosebumps along her skin. "I thought that if I told you the truth that there may still be a chance."
"A chance for what?" Rosalie's voice wavered. She could feel her resolve weakening. This was what she had always wished he would say to her. She couldn't count how many times she had longed for him to say he loved her. "What do you want from me, Will?"
The sound of his name sent a shiver down his spine. "A chance for us." he said, desperation leaking into his tone once again. "For us to be happy together. I spent the last five years thinking I could never have anything or anyone, but now all I want is you."
Rosalie's heart hammered in her chest. She didn't know what she was supposed to say or do. In the span of a few minutes, he had changed everything. He had given her the chance to finally have what she wanted- to have him. Yet she couldn't stop imagining all the horrid things he had said and done. Could he be forgiven so easily? Could she truly forget everything that happened and give in to him? Part of her wanted to, but the other part of her was screaming to send him away; screaming to tell him that it was too late, that too much damage had been inflicted. But in doing so, she would be discounting every good deed he had done.
"Say something." Will urged. He still held onto her hand and had absentmindedly started rubbing small circles along her skin. It felt so natural.
For just a moment, Rosalie allowed herself to consider what a life with Will could look like. She remembered the dream she'd had of him. The way he had looked at her, the way he had spoken to her... the way he had kissed her. It had only been a dream, but it was one she had wished would come to fruition. "What would you like me to say?" she asked at last. "That I love you? You are truly a fool if you don't already know the answer to that."
Will's eyes lit up. For the first time since they had met, she could see nothing but hope in his face. The storms that usually haunted his eyes were nowhere to be found. For the first time, Will Herondale looked to be truly at peace. "Say it, please." the urgency in his voice was enough to make her want to melt.
Rosalie stared down at him, debating it. She loved him with her whole mind, body, and soul. She loved every inch of him, loved each and every flaw. But was it enough? Deep down, she thought it could be enough. She thought love was enough to undo every hurt. And that gave her the strength she needed to finally admit it. "I love you, Will, and I always have."
His lips drew back in the most dazzling smile Rosalie had ever seen. And for the second time in her life, she was sure she was staring at an angel. But there was still something bothering her. "You claim to have loved me from the moment you met me..."
Will nodded slowly. "Even under all those bruises, I knew you were the most beautiful girl in the entire world."
"Yet you propositioned my sister to be your whore and kissed her at the party in Chiswick."
He paled slightly at that, his expression turning into one of nervousness. "Not one of my finest moments," he said. "I knew she had come to care for me and I knew I had to do something to put her off... but that kiss at the party was nothing- I swear it."
Rosalie knew the kiss had been caused by the warlock powder, but she also knew he wouldn't have kissed Tessa if he hadn't wanted to. Magnus had said as much when they caught them. "I want to believe that you're telling me the truth, I really do but-"
"But you don't trust me." he finished for her, smiling sadly. It was clear he had expected as much.
A short nod was her only response. It may be stupid, but she did believe he loved her. But as of right now, she had far too little trust in him for that to matter. Perhaps in time that could be remedied, but only if he was willing to put in the work.
"Whatever you ask of me, I will do. I suspected something like this would happen after everything I have said to you... after everything I have done. But I swear on the Angel that I will make it up to you, Rose."
She decided then that she liked this version of Will. He was kinder than she had imagined, seemed genuinely remorseful over the things he had done. And that was a good start. If he truly meant what he just said, they stood a very good chance at having a happy life together. "Have you told the others yet? About the curse, I mean."
Will shook his head. "Not yet, and I would ask that you not say anything either. I want to be the one to do it... when I'm ready."
Rosalie gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "I will be there whenever you are ready." he had spent so much of his life alone, it was only right that someone should be there for him. The fact that it would be herself only made it better. "As long as I am here, you shall never go through anything alone."
Will exhaled shakily as he shuddered. It coursed through his whole body, as if the words had struck him like a physical blow. He lifted his eyes to meet hers. Within both of their eyes was nothing but love and Rosalie silently cursed herself for not seeing it sooner. That was the look she had never been able to decipher. She had thought him incapable of such feelings, so how could she have possibly known that was what she had been seeing? But she saw it now: the pure, unadulterated love glittering in his eyes. And it was all for her.

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