EVERYTHING I WANTED | 𝐦𝐢𝐝𝟗𝟎𝐬 pt 3

𝟎𝟎𝟎 | prologue.

I COULDN'T THINK STRAIGHT. That was the first thing I noticed. I couldnt fucking think straight, it all felt like a blur, like I was numb. I couldn't even conjure up a panicked thought when I saw her, laying on the gravel road, a long piece of glass running through her leg and a small shard sticking out of her side. I couldn't move even after I was able to unbuckle myself from the turned over car we were in, and pull myself onto the street. I could still hear everything, Ray's screaming, Fourthgrade calling out for Stevie who was unconscious. But, I could not think.

     I just stared at her as she gasped for breath, staring up at the star filled sky.

     When the ambulance pulled up and people began crowding around us is when I finally began thinking thoughts I wished would go away. A frail woman had helped me stand as the paramedics struggled to get Stevie out of the car, and then they crowded around her.

     I had finally begun panicking when they lifted Ellie onto a stretcher, and she was no longer awake. The first thought that rushed through my mind was that I had killed her, that I had been the reason she was gone. I couldn't live without her. It didn't make sense to be without her. The world didn't make sense without Ellie.

     I had rushed towards the crowd of people, pushing past them in an attempt to reach her. I needed to touch her, to feel her warmth.

     "Ellie! Baby!" I had called out, and once I reached her as she was being lifted onto the ambulance, the warmth of her skin invaded mine. A breath of relief escaped my mouth as I mumbled words to the paramedics and climbed into the ambulance with Ellie. All I could do was stare at her the whole car ride, running my hand over her hair. I'm sure a tear or two came out as I admired her.

     How was I going to tell her? How was I supposed to tell her that her own boyfriend caused her 'near death experience'? She was gonna kill me.

     Stevie was also completely fucked up.

     I was fucked up. God, I'm such a fuck up.

     As she lay in the hospital bed, a cast around her leg and a bloodied patch on her side, I sat in the chair next to her, my hand intertwined with her's. Ray walked through the door, cuts lining his face. Our eyes met, and when they did, mine narrowed.

     "Yell at me later, Ray," my eyes closed, "Please."

     He inhaled, sitting in the other chair in the room, across from me.

     "I aint gon yell at you, Fuckshit. I came to check on you." He sighed.

     A gulp slid down my throat as I shifted in my seat, looking back down at Ellie who nearly looked like she was just peacefully sleeping rather than having been sedated. I could hear Ray mumble a few words to Ellie before leaning back in his chair and looking up at me again. I wish he would stop fucking doing that; looking at me like he was my fucking father.

     "You aint a kid no more, Fuckshit," he began, "You're my brother, and I love you, and I'm not about to have you lying on the street dead all because you're bored with life."

     He was right, per usual.

     I just smiled, looking up at him – which, of course, made him sigh annoyedly.

     "I'm serious, Fuckshit."

    With another long sigh, I nodded. I was gonna have to grow out of the sarcasm one day.

     "I'm sorry," I breathed in, making Ray nod. There was nothing else I could say, and when both Ellie and Stevie woke up, I'd have to force myself to blurt out a true apology, that is if Stevie's mother didn't sue my ass first. Ellie shifted in the bed, and Ray inched closer to her, pressing a kiss against her head before standing up. He glanced down at her, a pained looking filling his face, "Don't say anything stupid," he looked up at me, "We both know Ellie, she'll forgive you for this, even if you don't deserve it." I hid the frown on my face behind a sniffle as Ray moved towards the door.

     "Don't worry, Fuckshit. You'll grow outta this shit, and i'm sure in a few years you'll be all good and shit."

     I wish he had never said that. It was like he jinxed me.

     I would still be the same fuck up in a few years, maybe an even worse one. But, I knew I could never lose her like this again. I could never feel this way again; like I had lost myself. I had felt sad and depressed before, but this was different. This type of pain was incurable, and it felt like a knife had gone straight through my heart, and it finally stopped beating. I knew I would have to fix myself again; no drinking, no drugs, no fucking up what I had with Ellie.

     Maybe Ray was right, maybe in a few years I would be where I wanted to be.

     Although I didn't necessarily know where I wanted to be, I knew wherever it was, it would be with Ellie.

IT'S TIMEEEEEEEEE.

HIIII MY BABIESSSS !! i'm backkkk and so excited:)) i've really thought out this third book and can't wait for you guys to read it.

i wanted you guys to go ahead and get to read to prologue why i finish up the few chapters im going to be posting soon.

im going to TRY to upload 5 chapters every Saturday-Sunday so that for all the readers who still go to school, you guys can read without any interruptions from the wack ass teachers lolll.

so make sure to add this book to y'all's library n follow me so you don't miss anything:).

luv y'all, thank you all for your support. LOVE YOUUUU.

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