Arranged to Him

The wedding

The music trilled outside the room, laughter, and energy filling the large venue I had yet to enter. When I arrived, I was rushed to the dressing room and couldn't see any festivities or decorations. From the sound, it was going perfectly.

I wanted to be happy and excited like everyone else. Weddings were typically my favorite place; I wanted to be anywhere else today. To be arranged wasn't untypical with my culture, but a blind arrangement was something else entirely. I didn't know his name, his age, his job, nothing of substance.

The tense way the contract was nearly thrown at me two weeks prior by my cousin, who looked at me without sympathy, highlighted the beginning of the disastrous marriage.

"These are the terms. He will back out if you disagree." It was all in English. I didn't understand many of the contract's legal words while I spoke English.

"You must stay married for a year to get money when you divorce to pay off Baba's debt. The loan sharks will kill him unless he can prove we have the money coming, Anaya. Please do this for us." He begged in a way that I knew meant I had no choice. I played with the hem of my wedding dress, absently covering the bruises I got from my refusal. He lost it at my defiance, and I barely made it out with my life. I had no choice but to marry.

I would do anything for my family, but marrying what had to be an old and probably abusive man who had scared away all previous women wasn't something I wanted to do.

"You will be nervous initially, but remember, it's only a year." My mother said gently, putting her gold necklace on me and putting on the meager bangles she hadn't yet sold on my wrist. They made their own merry jungle when I moved my wrists, which didn't match my mood.

"Right, Mother," I said firmly, forcing myself to use the English words since I had been told he preferred that. A single clue into who I would have to live with.

"Just remember, don't tell them about our finances." She warned me sternly before lightning up and she kissed me on the head, her eyes tearing up as if this was a happy occasion.

"Okay, we are ready!" Abus said, opening the door, interrupting and gasping when he saw me in my dress. It was form-fitting and was a delicate lace that covered my entire body, going into a soft flow by my feet with a golden belt that matched my bangles.

"You're beautiful. A real princess today, Anaya." He said, smiling before popping back out, the music-changing beat to call me out.

I went out slowly into the massive crowd, surprised by the number of pictures being taken and the elaborate outdoor venue. I was sure my father didn't pay for any of it. It was far beyond our budget.

I walked in between the crowds of people I didn't recognize who smiled warmly as I walked to the stage.

There he stood. He wore a black suit with a light blue undershirt that matched the décor colors. He wasn't old, but he wasn't young either. His eyes were dark brown, which was ironic since most Turkish people had dark eyes, but mine were blue.

He was very handsome, and I blushed and stumbled when his eyes finally caught mine. He looked me up and down in a careful way, a small smile finally gracing his lips and his seriousness easing when I got to him.

I had no idea what I agreed to in the vows and barely noticed the ceremony. I just wanted to take him in and figure out everything about him, and he seemed to want to do the same with me.

Thankfully, there was no spotlight dance, but the women danced around me, chanting the traditional song for henna. He seemed confused, obviously foreign, not following the song and even more confused when they put the thick mud in his hand, but he smiled and played along.

At last, the gold-giving time had come, and he stood beside me following directions Abus was giving him like a very handsome actor in someone else's play. Everyone lined up to provide gold and take pictures, but there was an issue with the main photographer, so we had to wait.

"You're beautiful." He said, glancing at me with a smile.

"Thank you...uh, I wasn't given a name." I said awkwardly.

"James."

"Of course, James. My name is Anaya, but you know that I am sure." I stammered, nervously putting some of my hair behind my ear, forgetting I still had some henna on it and getting some mud on my face.

Before I could wipe it away, he leaned in, eyes locking with me as he brushed it away.

I made it a point to not look at men, not think about men, and not do anything to bring my family shame, but my thoughts were very, very shameful after the dark look he gave me.

"How old are you again? You look a lot younger than I expected." He said, at last, seeming to remember himself.

"Right, I'm short and have a baby face," I assured him, sweetly smiling.

"You are very delicate. I will have to be very careful with you indeed." He said softly, smirking when I blushed even more. He was, for sure, purposefully making me feel shy.

"Fixed it! Everyone, let's proceed!" One of the crew yelled, interrupting.

"We don't have any gold ceremony in America, so you must forgive my family." He warned me in a hushed way, returning to my side.

"This is my mother." She was an older lady with white hair and unearthly wrinkles. She smiled at me and handed me a hefty gold bar. I had never held so much gold before, and I couldn't imagine how much it cost. I looked to my parents, who were as shocked as I was, and then to James, who just shrugged. I hugged the woman and whispered a shy thanks, unsure what to do with the gold bar.

"I hope you have many happy years ahead of you together. James has told me so much about you, and you seem so in love." She said sincerely. I smiled and nodded, unsure why he filled her head with such silly delusions.

The weird gold continued with gold chains that could go on a tire, gold statues, and even a gold dagger. His family heard the word gold and ignored everything Abus told them.

My family came forward with tiny one-ounce gold coins like normal humans, not emptying their accounts for a marriage that may or may not survive.

I was so happy when it was time to go, exhausted from the festivities and from smiling at everyone all night. We got in a car with a driver he had evidently ordered ahead, and when we started driving, it was just silence.

Blissful silence.

I was going home with him somewhere I had never been, to whatever fate had in store. I was scared but also determined to make this work. I wouldn't bring shame to my family. I could deal with whatever flaws he had one at a time.

"So, tell me something about yourself." He said after a while, finally breaking his silence. The driver acted like he couldn't hear us and focused on the twisting roads that led down from the mountain to the venue.

"I don't know what to say. What do you want to know?" I asked nervously, not wanting to give too much information and get sent back to my village.

"The truth." My eyes shot to him, and I felt my heart race. He couldn't know I was a fraud, right? How could he possibly know? I had done my best to play the part of a businessman's wealthy daughter as my parents insisted perfectly all night.

"Oh, please, Anaya, don't look so shocked. All night, you were quiet except to ask if your parents were happy, offering them drinks, offering me drinks and food, things that wealthy people don't do. We pay other people to do those tasks like Waverly here." He said curtly, waving to the driver, who glanced in the mirror but didn't respond.

"So, who are you really? I think I have the right to know who I married. Are you even here out of your own free will? You seemed sullen and withdrawn. If you only married me for money, name your price, and I will annul the marriage immediately." He said harshly but without anger. He seemed upset, but he was perhaps more upset with himself than me.

"I...I'm sorry if I seemed ungrateful. It was a beautiful wedding." I offered, nervously pulling at my lace wedding gown that went down to my fingertips. He noticed the motion. He grabbed my arm and pulled the lace up, ripping it slightly. I gasped, surprised and afraid of him, unsure how badly I would be punished for deceiving him.