Axels and Heartstrings

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Chapter Two

Heart still pounding in his chest and beads of sweat running down his neck, Yuzuru Hanyu stumbled dizzily backstage. He had been midway through a post-performance interview when he uncharacteristically had to excuse himself, succumbing to fatigue.

He felt guilty about it, but truth be told, he wasn't supposed to be here anyways.

Truly, he had never intended to perform at this show at all.

This was the summer leading up to the 2018 Olympics, and he had planned to be half-way across the globe, practicing at his skating club, the Toronto Cricket Club. Yes, he did typically take a break during the off-season and came home for the summer, back to Japan, but this year wasn't supposed to be like every other year. This was an Olympic year and it required his undivided attention.

Which is why he had decided to skip all summer ice shows.

It was a decision that had been expressly stated to his sponsors - a message they 'somehow' never received. Which still baffled him, considering he had personally sent those emails. As much as he wanted to be upset about it though, he couldn't be, because he also had no record of those emails anymore. As if they never existed, the emails were gone - vanished, every one of them.  Their disappearance had made him question his own sanity for a few days.

Regardless, by the time Yuzuru realized he was slated to perform in this event, the news had already been broadcast to his fans, and there was no way he could back out at that point.

Now, here he was, beyond physically exhausted and wanting nothing more than to get this sticky costume off, shower, and then soak in a bath. Well, he wanted to do that- after he was done festering about an under-rotated jump he fell on tonight.

The crowd had not seemed to mind much, but he sure did.

Yuzuru could not afford to be making mistakes like that. If he wasn't able to perform such a jump at a summer show that held minimal pressure, how did he expect to tackle the unprecedented stakes of the Olympics?

This was exactly why he really needed to practice- actually practice, with his coaches. And it was why he had already texted his sister, who doubled as his manager, to book the next flight to Toronto, Canada.

Navigating the halls, Yuzuru bowed to staff members who seemed to materialize at every turn. Forcing a smile, he summoned the last remnants of his energy, in attempt to show his gratitude. Normally, that wasn't a chore for him. Tonight, it took too much effort.

Entering the dressing room, he sank onto the first piece of furniture he saw, eyes immediately closing. Perhaps, if he could rest for a few minutes -before his overactive mind took over- he might feel better. Then, he would have energy to get home.

His attempt at rest lasted no more than a minute. It was rudely interrupted by the news reel that liked to play on the back of his eyelids, giving him the sports highlights of everything he messed up on, every technical error he had made. Eyes popping open, he sighed in frustration. He really did need to do better.

And he really needed to learn how to quiet his mind.

Sitting up, he hunched over and began to untie his skates. The movement caused a sharp bolt of pain to shoot through the palm of his hand and up to the tips of his fingers. He let out an aggravated groan.

When the hell did this happen?

Sure he had fallen, but it definitely wasn't on his hand. It had been on his ass, and he was sure there was going to be a gnarly bruise there tomorrow as well.