You Must Remember This

Chapter 15: Books and Bad Behavior (part 1)

Penelope had quite given up on napping. Eloise had urged her to rest before supper and Penelope had been dazed enough, after her time with Colin, to agree. Really, it would be best if she did. She shouldn't wish to yawn through dinner. And she had certainly exerted herself today, especially in comparison to her first three days here. Yet she found herself unable to stay still, let alone sleep.

Perhaps her body was restless after having had too much rest in the days before. Or perhaps it was all due to those moments with her husband after breakfast leaving her bewildered and prone to fidgeting. Not from the kissing, nor the flirting. Those had both been delightful — despite her sad attempts at the start — but they did leave her strangely unsettled, almost akin to the feeling of having an itch she couldn't reach.

She should feel very at ease. It had been a comfort to know that he did not truly wish to avoid being near her.

"I want it too much. That's the problem."

That's what Colin had said and she'd heartily disagreed that there was a problem at all. She wanted to be near him just as much, if not more. Yet he had this silly notion that she would be angry with him later, all because she'd been cross with him before.

And for what? He didn't even know and she certainly didn't remember. Whatever it was, it must have been some silly lovers' spat of little consequence.

God, but she wished she knew so she could properly dismiss his concerns and then perhaps spend as much time kissing him as she wished.

Really, she'd take knowing what her quarrel with Colin was over knowing the entire rest of her life at the present moment. There was also that mystery romance afoot and she'd been so distracted by her flirtation mission that she'd not even observed the couples in question during breakfast. So she still didn't quite know which Molly and Gert had been gossiping about. She only knew that one half was a Bridgerton.

She had decided it must be Eloise and Doctor Dorset or Benedict and Miss Edwina Sharma. Yet she'd observed no particular affection between either pairing this morning. An outlying possibility was Doctor Dorset and Francesca, but despite how wise she seemed for her years, she was but seventeen. Somewhere inside, she knew girls married younger, yet she could not see Violet Bridgerton, nor Anthony Bridgerton, allowing such a thing.

She heard a thump to her right and turned to the adjoining door. It must be Eloise, obviously not napping either. That was the other little mystery — whatever had happened between her and Eloise. Gert had known said quarrel existed, but not why.

In fact, if she was wishing, then perhaps she could just wish she knew everything, and now! Had she always been thus? Or was this curiosity killing her only because of her current state?

She groaned as she threw her covers off. It was torture. She'd rather blissfully know nothing than know just enough to tease her with all she didn't or couldn't know. Eloise was supposed to be her dearest friend, was she not? Perhaps she might finally take pity on her and give her just an inkling, just a jot of knowledge.

She very well might. She'd been very solicitous today, helping her to the sleighs and trying — yet failing — to partner her, sitting with her in church, then even sitting on the arm of her chair as she opened her presents and whispering very amusing commentary on each one... though Benedict's gift seemed to have given her pause. Penelope quite liked it, finally having a likeness of her husband, yet Eloise seemed strangely discomfited about it.

She rolled to her side and unrolled the sketch sitting on the nightstand. It really did capture Colin well. He was smiling but also with a furrowed brow, as if he was happy for now, but expected something to spoil it. Such a worrier, that husband of hers.