Dirty, Dirty Liars [Mature/Editing]

[22] 二十二

The sun brought me into consciousness. I moved my limbs, feeling the comfortable support of a bed beneath me. When I opened my eyes, I knew where I was, but not how I got there.

I rolled over, flinching at Jiji's presence. She sat on the bed beside me, peering down with her judgmental green eyes, flipping the tip of her tail back and forth.

"Don't look at me like that, Jiji. I've watched you shit in a box."

She stood and hopped off the bed, looking back before she went down the stairs.

I rolled over with a sigh. He still used the silk pillowcases I brought him. They smelled only like him. In the drawer of the side table, my hair scarf and emergency change of clothes still sat, folded and clean. In the bathroom, my toothbrush sat in the cup next to his. Seeing that made my chest hurt worse than my head.

After quietly cleaning up and redressing, I crept downstairs.

I found him on the sofa, fully dressed as if going to work, and conveniently turned away from the stairs. For a moment, I thought about sneaking past him and leaving before he could see me, but before I could try, Jiji gained Susu's attention with a loud meow. Little snitch.

My furry bestie left Ryuzo's side and ran over to me with her little squeaks, causing him to look up. "Mina-chan."

My heart squeezed when I heard him say my name and saw him looking at me for the first time in days. "Hey."

He stood from the couch. Susu accepted her requested ear scratches, then ran off — Jiji's evil plot completed. I took a few steps closer to the entryway, still thinking about running out.

"How are you feeling?" he asked in a timid voice.

I glared at him, hating how concerned he looked. "Better than I have all week."

His gaze dropped with guilt. I made my way toward the door, not wanting to let him convince me he gave a shit.

"Mina-chan," he stopped me with a hand on my arm. "I found you unconscious on my doorstep last night. You scared the fuck out of me. Please don't go before I know you are okay."

I pressed my lips together, trying to fight my urge to cry. His touch, his words, made every inch of my skin ache with a myriad of emotions. It was the pain of knowing I shouldn't want something that hurt me so much, the regret that I ever let myself open to be hurt in the first place, and the impossible desire to wash it all away and go back to what we were before.

I was most definitely not okay.

"I'm going to be late for work." I pulled myself from him and went for the door.

He moved himself in front of me, blocking my way. "You have two hours before you need to be at work. Please sit and talk to me. Let me explain."

"I don't need you to explain anything. You hurt me, just like you wanted. Now leave me alone."

"I didn't want to hurt you, Mina-chan."

"Bullshit."

"I didn't!"

"Then what did you want?! What did you expect to happen when you ripped my fucking heart out like I meant nothing to you?!" My hurt came out louder than I could control. Screaming at him was the most relief I had felt since it had happened.

He wrapped his arm around my waist. "Mina, stop."

I pushed him with both hands. He stumbled back. "Leave me. Alone."

He grabbed my arm again. I turned around and slapped him across the face. He stood motionless afterward, accepting it.

I gasped, realizing what I had done. "Shit. I'm sorry, baby, I'm sorry," I cried while I kissed his cheek over and over. "I'm so sorry."