You'll Be Alright - Taylor Swift

Part 22

Taylor's POV

The night unfolded with a slow, agonising rhythm. I remained perched on the edge of the bed, Ryan cradled in my arms, her feverish body nestled against me. The room felt both cavernous and claustrophobic, the air heavy with worry and the spectre of past traumas lingering in the shadows.

Ryan's breathing was uneven, a testament to the toll the panic attack and fever had taken on her small frame. Every shallow inhale and exhale fueled my anxiety, and the hum of the air conditioner became a haunting backdrop to the relentless thoughts that swirled in my mind.

I couldn't tear my eyes away from Ry. Not for a second. The fear that gripped me was relentless, a monster that threatened to consume any semblance of calm. The memories of that horrifying day seven years ago loomed large, casting their ominous shadows over the present. The fear of losing Ryan again, of not being able to protect her, kept me tethered to her side like an unbreakable lifeline.

The Olaf cup, now empty, sat on the bedside table – a small victory in coaxing her to drink some water. But the victory felt hollow against the backdrop of the night's challenges. The damp cloth on her forehead had become a constant, futile attempt to quell the persistent heat radiating from her fevered skin.

The room was quiet, save for the rhythmic hum of the air conditioner and the occasional creaks of the house settling. At some point, Mer had managed to get in, settling right beside us and refusing to leave despite my best attempts to coax her away from Ry. I continued to hum Safe and Sound on a loop, not caring that I had just performed or that I was supposed to be performing again later today; that's not going to happen anyhow. A melody that had evolved into a desperate plea for comfort, not just for Ryan but for myself. The uncertainty of the situation gnawed at my resolve, and the silence between the hums was filled with unspoken fears.

"I got you, little survivor," I whispered into the darkness, my voice cracking with the weight of emotions. "You're safe and sound. I won't let anything happen to you. Never again. You'll be alright. It's me and you, that's my whole world. I'll never let anyone take you away from me, not ever. Even when you're all grown up and have a family of your own, I'll always be there. On that note, you're not dating until you're thirty or something because boys are idiots and girls are mean. You can date whoever you want as long as they treat you like the queen that you are, you hear me? You deserve the world, and you should never settle for less. Don't let anyone tell you you can't do something because you, my little survivor, can do anything you put your mind to. I am sure of that. One day, you are going to take the world by storm, no matter what you do. You are so very special, buddy. I can't wait to see what you grow up to be. But do you think you could do me a little favour? Don't grow up too quickly. I know you had to before, but I promise, buddy, it's safe for you to be a kid with me. You have all the time in the world to be an adult, so maybe you can be a kid for a while, huh?" I mumble, trying to distract myself from the dark thoughts that seem to be hanging over my head. Words come out of my mouth before I even register I'm saying them.

As the night wore on, my weariness intensified, but the fear anchored me to wakefulness. I dared not close my eyes, terrified that if I looked away, even for a moment, something terrible might happen. The spectre of the past haunted me – the image of an empty hospital crib, the echoes of desperate cries, and the unbearable void left by a stolen child.

The occasional sounds of the house settling became ominous whispers, taunting me with the fear that history might repeat itself. The shadows played tricks on my senses, and I was startled at the slightest rustle, my nerves frayed and on edge. Realistically, I knew the noises were probably just Dibbles and Benji having an early morning marshmallow war somewhere, but after losing Ry for the second time, all realistic thoughts were pushed out of my brain.