Demon On My Mind

-26-

⚠️‼️SH‼️⚠️

Yunho was very angry as he stomped his way in one of the bars close to his and Hongjoong's apartment. He decided drinking on his day off would hurt no one as he downed some fireball shots.

Yunho squeezed his eyes, hissing at the stinging alcohol as he huffed. Seonghwa just crossed the line. He expected the older to understand him not snap at him for his actions.

Yes, he knows what he is doing in their world is beyond illegal. However, there are some things that you cannot just overlook. And Hongjoong's situation was exactly that for Yunho. Something he couldn't overlook or act like he doesn't give a damn.

At times like this he hates being a grim reaper so much. Demons like Seonghwa and San that weren't responsible or messengers of the dead souls wouldn't have such a problem. Seonghwa saving someone is okay, but Yunho saving a soul destined for hell was almost a crime in Hell.

How could his most favorite person pressure him to let his Hongjoong die. By a suicide at that. Hongjoong doesn't deserve that, and if Seonghwa was calm enough to be explained Hongjoong's situation he would agree.

Yunho ruffled his hair, the alcohol kicking in distastefully as he felt the dizziness in his head. The demon stood up, grabbing the bar for balance as he decided to head back.

But, instead of finding himself hopping back at Hell he unlocked the apartment Hongjoong was staying. The mentioned boy peeked from the couch, living room dim with yellow lights as the blue lights of the television reflected on the human's features.

The younger gasped as he realized it was Yunho that entered the apartment. His mother was away in a two days one night trip, recommended by her doctor. However he guessed his mom returned earlier not that the brunette would suddenly pay him a visit at 3 am.

Standing up, he walked to the taller who leaned against the wall. "Hyung?" Hongjoong whispered, pulling his tee's sleeves down to cover his newest bandage. He didn't want Yunho to know. He was ashamed.

Yunho ignored the human, stumbling his way further into the room. He threw himself on the sofa, sighing loudly. The blonde ran after the taller, sitting next to him as he grabbed one of his hands into his own. He intertwined their fingers as he squeezed the warm hand lightly. "Hyung are you okay?" The shorter whispered again, concerned about the demon.

Yunho however surprised him as he yanked his hand out of his hold, making the smaller flinch. Compared to how Yunho is usually acting around and with him this was the roughest thing he's done.

Hongjoong instinctively cowered away, keeping his arms to himself. Maybe Yunho was mad at him. He decided to make a warm chocolate for the older, remembering that the demon really fancied that beverage.

As the younger neared the brunette to leave the cup on the coffee table Yunho surprised him as he grabbed his wrist, the cup spilling on his hand and the carpet. Hongjoong cried out a painful moan as the sizzling hot drink touched his sensitive skin.

"Hyung!" Hongjoong whined, pain evident in his voice. But the demon surprised him yet again as he realized the taller's eyes have turned black. It was the first time Hongjoong felt scared in the other's presence.

"What is this?" Yunho asked lowly, his eyes pinning on the boy's hand and when Hongjoong followed his eyes his heart dropped as the white bandage peeking from the black shirt's sleeve. It had a staring lined red stain, indicating that the cut wasn't even that old.

"Did you cut yourself again?" Yunho asked, his black, soulless eyes staring at his wide brown ones. The human felt his lips trembling, unable to form any words. Yunho unconsciously tightened his hold on the weak wrist and Hongjoong frowned as he hissed in pain.

"H-hyung" he whimpered but Yunho pushed him back violently as he stood up, staring at the blonde. "Did you really cut yourself in this house you shit?" He growled and Hongjoong froze, the name reminding him so much of who he is literally dying to forget.

Yunho felt betrayed, taken for a fool and angry at the revelations of the other's doings. He fought his brother for the human's sake and that is how he repays him? That's what we going on in the demon's misty mind.

"I asked for one damn thing Hongjoong!" Yunho yelled and Hongjoong's tears fell down his cheeks by how hard he flinched. "I asked you to stop. trying. to. kill. your. fucking. self" Yunho deadpanned, his index pushing the blonde's temples with each word. Hongjoong sobbed as his memories mixed with the reality too much at the moment.

"H-hyu-hyung... I.. I-i"

"You fucking what Hongjoong?!" Yunho shouted again and Hongjoong cried out loud at the intensity of the situation.

"I-I'm s-so so-sorry!" Hongjoong wailed embarrassed, sad and terrified at the demon. The human desperately clutched on the brunette's leather jacket but the taller only pushed his away forcefully. It made the boy's foot hit the table as he fell on his butt.

Hongjoong gasped again, staring at the demon with wide eyes. Why is Yunho acting like that? It almost feels like the older wasn't himself at the moment and what terrified the human was the following question; what if this is Yunho's true self?

"Maybe hyung is right!" Yunho snapped angrily. "Maybe I should just take to where you belong if you want it so much!" He yelled and Hongjoong cried harder. Nothing made sense but at the same time it hurt him physically so much.

"If you're that ignorant and that desperate to die; go ahead then!" Yunho screamed once more before he stormed away.

Hongjoong clasped a hand over his trembling lips trying to muffle his ear piercing sobs, his fat tears flowing from his eyes. He gasped for air as his sobs turned heavier.

How could he explain to the demon that he really didn't want to do it, he just couldn't escape the voices. They gave him no chance. They urged him to cut, long and deep. Hongjoong never felt accomplished about that. Ever. But it made the voices stop.

It was around 5 am, when he'd cried a whole river when his ears rang.

You heard him. Go ahead. What are you waiting for? If Hell gave up on you, why should you try to help yourself? You only cause pain to others. Go fucking die.

There they are again. They are pressuring him again. They are pushing him to grab the already bloodied razor blade that's laying on his sink.

Hongjoong didn't bother taking off his clothes when he laid on the bathtub, turning the faucet on. His lips churned downwards as he tried to stop the sobs that made his throat feel like it suffocated. His hand trembled as he took off his bandage. His skin was already starting to peel off, an ugly red around the area that the chocolate spilt on a while ago.

He experimentally dragged the razor on the burned skin, fascinating himself with how much easier it bled. The red liquid pooled out from the slit and Hongjoong didn't stop himself when he wanted to see the sight again.

But it didn't hurt as much. His chest hurt way more than that. It felt heavy and Hongjoong let felt drowsy as he let the heaviness on his chest pull him deeper into the bathtub. There it is. The peace he has been trying to find.

•
Yunho was shaken awake when his work notification popped beside him. He rubbed his eyes as the grabbed the floating receipt over his head. Standing up he furrowed his eyes as he tried to adjust his eyesight to read the letters and he felt a lump in his throat as he stared at the paper.

Kim Hongjoong.
Suicide.
Death: 06:37:55.

Yunho jerked himself up, realizing that the time stamp written on the receipt is in 50 seconds from now.

A/N
I'm sorry. 🤧