Lily Evans and the Marauder's Secrets

Birth-Date

Monday morning I beat everyone to the Great Hall.

Literally everyone. I'm there when the House-elves unlock the doors and breakfast is only just starting to pop up across the House tables. I take a seat in front of a pot of oatmeal and dish myself a big bowl, but even after I add a bunch of brown sugar and raisins, it doesn't look very appetizing, and mostly I just stir it around with my spoon, watching the sugar slowly melt in caramel-colored streaks.

I worried over James for what felt like all night after talking to Carol, the questions spinning through the dark. What was I doing wrong? Why wouldn't he trust me?

Maybe, a little voice whispered, it's because you don't trust him.

The thought had me rolling over uncomfortably.

But by the time I woke Sunday morning, I wondered if there wasn't truth to it. I told him constantly I didn't trust him and had kept him at arm's length ever since we kissed. The last time we'd fought, hadn't all this been the problem? James accused me of not trusting him no matter what he did.

And I know he skipped our tutoring session, and is keeping secrets, and has been avoiding me recently, but...

Maybe I could try a little trust.

I don't know.

I just miss him.

So that was my plan, for Sunday at least: I wouldn't give him a hard time for bailing on me, he'd apologize, and we could have a make-up study session instead. I could try and trust him.

Except by the time I finally ran into James in the common room, it was already afternoon and he was heading out to Quidditch practice. I guess they don't waste a day. He hadn't been at breakfast – none of the Marauders had – and I skipped lunch for my Ancient Runes essay.

I was on the small sofa by the announcement board (located very near the portrait hole, no particular reason for sitting there, sometimes a witch just wants to see who's coming and going) when I finally saw him for the first time since the match. He looked considerably happier, like maybe Sirius had been right and he'd just needed a night to sulk it off. James saw me and waved on his way out, and I waved back, and then he was gone again.

Okay, no afternoon study session, then. There's still evening, I reasoned with myself. After dinner. We had time. Even though I finished my Transfiguration with Sev the night before, James could look it over and I could still help him with his Charms. It wasn't entirely a lost cause.

Except at dinner Sirius suggested a common room-wide Exploding Snap tournament after Remus, James, and I got back from prefect meeting, and James was trying to convince anyone to play as his partner.

"Sorry, mate. You're my best friend but I'm not letting you take me down again," Sirius said when James asked him.

James only looked put out for a moment before he glanced across the table at me. "Lily will be my partner then, won't you, Evans?"

I shook my head. "I still have homework to finish tonight." Trying to keep an accusing tone out of my voice (trust him, Lily, trust him), I added, "And what about you? Don't you have Charms work you need to do?"

"Charms?" said James, his forehead creasing. "No."

My stomach dropped, and that's when I knew.

He forgot.

"Oh, okay," I mumbled, dropping my gaze back to my meatloaf. I speared a bite with my fork. "Have fun, then."

He opened his mouth, maybe to try and persuade me more but Carol pushed her way in. "Heard Sirius say you still need a partner," she said.