The Love You Want (sleep token fic - Polyvessels)

III: Part Four

Vessel waits with bated breath all morning, hugging his stuffie tightly to his chest as he stares, unceasingly, at his bedroom door. II and III had already been moving about for a couple hours now, their quiet voices and sleepy laughter telling Vessel of a comfortable night spent in III's room and a cozy morning. Vessel wishes he had joined.

His room is dark, the only light coming from under the door. Vessel is alone, as he wanted, and he hates it. He buries his face in his stuffie, snuggling into his Alpha Wolf hoodie, and tries to ignore the stinging in his hips, and the tears threatening to slip onto his cheeks. He lays there for who knows how long, waiting for the floor to open up and swallow him and his bed whole.

Someone knocks on the door. Its II, asking for Vessel to come down to the living room. He says something about wanting to start that talk now, and maybe something else but Vessel can't hear past the sudden ringing in his ears.

This is it. They're going to be mad at him. They're going to be mad he put them to sleep without asking, they're going to hate him. They're going to hate him. Vessel doesn't want to do this, he didn't want them to know about any of this. Vessel wanted to keep all of this to himself so II and III could continue living happily, without any knowledge of what Vessel has done.

Vessel forces himself to stand up when he hears II's retreating footsteps after a couple minutes of Vessel not answering. When he opens his door, Vessel makes sure his hood is up and his mask securely buckled. III is making their way up the stairs when Vessel starts to head down, and their smile is as soft as the blonde curls on their head when they see him. "I made you a coffee! Its on the table downstairs, in the living room, if you're ready to talk now."

Vessel isn't ready, but he takes III's outstretched hand anyway, hunching into himself to hide as much as possible. Let's III lead him down the stairs, focuses on them rubbing their thumb over Vessel's knuckles, focuses on not launching himself off the staircase to his hopeful death and asking Sleep to let him truly die.

II is bouncing his leg, reading a book while sitting on their couch when Vessel and III enter the living room. His eyes do not read the words on the page, staring blankly and worrying his lip, lost in thought. When III calls his name, II looks up, almost surprised by their presences, though III is never exactly quiet when they enter a room.

"Three, Ves! Good, you're here. Sit, please, we're just going to talk. We got you some coffee Ves, hopefully its how you like it. Three wanted to put more sugar but I like to imagine I know your limits, and their idea of sweet enough is far, far past it."

Vessel sits on the edge of his seat and readies himself to bolt if he needs to. He makes sure to keep space between all three of them for when they inevitably don't want to be near him anymore.

Even as he does so, keeping distance, III scoots closer and II completely gets up, moving to sit next to Vessel on his other side, effectively sandwiching him between them while placing a large, fluffy blanket over his shoulders. It should make him nervous, to be caged in like that and unable to escape like he initially wanted, but their knees are warm where they brush against his own. The length of III's thigh is pressed against Vessel's and he tries to focus on that warmth to ground him to this moment when all Vessel wants is to be anywhere but here.

Vessel avoids their searching gazes but smiles gratefully at II, wrapping the blanket around himself as further protection, and everyone waits for another of them to speak. Silence ensues for what feels like hours until II breaks it, also wanting to get this over with if only to get that terrified slip of emotion Vessel is allowing through the bond to go away.

"Tell us about this ability Sleep mentioned, the one that isn't yours. I just want to understand, Vessel, okay? I'm not mad, I'm frustrated you seem to keep hurting yourself in more ways than one, but I'm not mad. I'm concerned."