Jake Webber X Johnnie Guilbert Smut And Fluff

Disgusting(fluff?)

(This is a vent chapter disguised as a Sad Johnnie Story)

Summary: Johnnie is in his feels and he thinks about some things

Tw:
Dissociation
Loneliness
Mention of-  Sh
Over all just sad.

Johnnies Pov:

I'm sat on my bed, feet on the floor.

I'm just sat.

Looking at the floor.

Looking at how it's detailed.

I blink, my eyes stinging.

I must've been staring for a while.

My head keeps replaying that night.

The night I hit him.

My step dad.

(Flash back)

16 years old.

He was drunk.

We were yelling.

He was in my face.

He wouldn't move away.

I begged him to get out of my face.

It was dumb of me to do, but I spat in his face in attempt to get him to move.

He did for a second.

Before spitting back in my face.

Anger filled my body.

It took over.

I started to punch him in the head.

Over and over.

He fell to the ground and mom finally intervened pushing me to my room and helping my step dad up.

I wiped the spit from my face.

Having a panic attack, I was disgusted with his spit in my face considering
1. its spit
2. My step dad dipped so his spit was basically just gross tobacco.
3. He's a grown adult spitting back at a 16 year old boy.

(I'm literally disgusted while writing this sorry)

(End of flashback)

I shake my head disgusted with myself.

I get up shaking my hands trying to stim off all the nasty.

Maybe it's just a Adhd thing I don't know.

I look at my shelf.

I had a knife stuck into it.

That's the same knife I used that night to hurt myself.

I remember feeling nothing while doing it.

That's not even being dramatic.

I was having a panic attack while doing it and I didn't even feel it.

My body was all hot, I was sweating, scared.

I look at my wrists, they are healed.

It's been a 10 years and a month since that happened.

Yet for some reason I often think of what happend.

I wish my step dad wasnt a drunkie.

I wonder sometimes what life would have been like if he didn't drink.

If we would have been happy.

It's a shame.

No teenager should feel the way I did.

Writing to distract himself from what's going on.

"Johnnie!!!" I hear my name being called.

But it's worth in now.

I live with my best friend Jake who I plan to tell I like him in a few days.

He makes me happy.

And that's all I could ever ask for.

"Coming!" I shout back leaving my room with a slight smile on my face.

461 words.

So ovi I'm not 26, I'm 16 I just wanted to some how vent but also make it into a book for you to enjoy.

The vent is basically everything except the living with best friend thing, clearly I can't do that cause I'm 16💀👍

Lmao I'm sorry for this

-Kall